I Haven’t Upgraded My iPhone Because I Don’t Want To Be Kicked Off The Family Phone Plan

I Haven’t Upgraded My iPhone Because I Don’t Want To Be Kicked Off The Family Phone Plan

On September 7, the world watched with bated breath as Tim Cook took the stage in San Francisco to announce the release of the iPhone 7 (among a bunch of other Apple products nobody cares about nearly as much). My dual monitor display came in clutch so I could “work” and also watch the keynote.

With every new feature he announced, my heart beat a little faster. I had to have it. I needed the dual cameras with digital zoom, the better speakers and the longer battery life. I was already picturing all the great brunch pictures I would get on my Jet Black iPhone 7 Plus.

The timing was perfect. I was already due for an update, and my iPhone 6 was still in good enough condition to trade in for a credit. All the stars were aligning, but there was just one thing stopping me from ordering my “Millennial who is doing well at work and clearly has her life together” badge of honor – I’m still on my family phone plan.

My mom has been paying for my cell phone for over ten years. I’m not quite ready for this beautiful relationship to end, but she definitely is. She’s been bragging to her friends that her kids are finally “off the payroll,” and the last step is kicking us off the phone plan. She’s been talking about it for years now, but somehow it still hasn’t happened yet and I’m not about to bring it up.

Other than the phone plan, I am completely independent. I pay my own car insurance. I do my own taxes. I have a credit card that I pay in full every month because Dave Ramsey and my senior year Economics class told me to. I got this adulting shit on lock. Paying for my own phone is the logical next step.

But, like, I really don’t want to. Really don’t want to.

As anyone with a brain and a hesitation to leave the family phone plan nest knows, it’s actually cheaper to stay on the family plan than to be on an individual plan. Not just by a few bucks, but $30. THIRTY DOLLARS extra to prove my independence and pay for my own phone. That’s three months of Spotify premium, a decent brunch (including bottomless mimosas), or a shellac manicure at a place where they talk shit about you in Vietnamese and don’t give you free Franzia while you wait.

“Why don’t you just offer to pay your parents the cost of your phone plan?” If you were to ask any of my coworkers, I’m already doing that. At work I have to feign responsibility about my personal life because it’s “unprofessional” to have your Mom do stuff for you that you should be doing on your own. Obviously, if push comes to shove, sure, I’ll “offer” to pay my parents the cost of my phone so I can stay on the phone plan.

But, like, I really don’t want to do that either.

My ideal situation is to treat my phone plan the way that they used to treat women in the old days. My phone plan stays on my family plan until I get married and then my husband can inherit it. I’m a strong, financially independent woman, but I’m hoping to make it the rest of my life without ever paying for my own phone plan. Or, at the very least, another two years.

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