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This past weekend, I spent $20 at a local market on beef jerky and a small tub of smoked whitefish dip. I felt like a huge asshole, because the last thing I need to be spending $20 on is beef jerky and a small tub of smoked whitefish dip.
But then I saw that some people are spending $100 on a donut, and I felt a lot better about myself.
I like being luxurious and bougie as much as the next guy, but come on. This is just rubbing vices in the face of everyone’s New Year’s resolutions. Oh, you’re trying to slim down? Here’s a fucking donut. Oh, you’re not drinking? Boom, it’s infused with fucking champagne. You’re keeping yourself on a strict budget? It’s a hundred-fucking-dollars.
It’s hard for me to admit this, but I wasn’t even sure what “ube” was when I read this. But like, it just sounds expensive. Turns out it’s a purple species of yam, so when you bust this thing open it’s going to hit you directly in the face with a lilac color which is probably everything your little heart desires.
The donut, in its entirety, is described as follows:
The Golden Cristal Ube Donut
The Manila Social Club presents their infamous gold-ube donut, adorned with icing made with Cristal champagne and filled with an ube mousse, champagne jelly, and covered with 24k Gold. $100 per donut.
For more information or to inquire about placing an order, please go to www.ManilaSocialClub.com.
Well, I went to Manila Social Club’s website, and I wasn’t let down. In fact, it made me realize things about myself that I never knew I wanted in my life before. For example, here’s the description for an event they’re holding called “Donuts & DJs”:
Listen to 90s Hip Hop. Drop by Manila Social Club and grab an Ube Bae Donut and try our NEW flavors! All of the donuts are made fresh during the event! Its a night to just chill, try new donuts, and hang out with friends!
I’ve always wanted to chill, try some new donuts, and listen to ’90s hip hop with my friends. What a world we live in. .
[via Mashable]
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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Bringing in a dozen of these donuts into the office break room is the ultimate PGPM.
Eating one of these and letting your boss know you shit gold. PGPM.
Cool it Tywin.
Bigger surprise after blacking out and eating a couple: the month-later CC bill, or the next morning’s “movement?”
“Do you remember Dr.Jenkins? He thought I had Crohn’s disease. There were flakes of 24 carat gold in my stool for about a month… I crapped GOLD!” – Cam Brady
That definitely looks like shit on the doughnut.