Grandex Office Ping Pong Power Rankings: Week 7

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Every week here on Peej, we’ll be presenting and commenting on the updated standings of everyone here at Grandex who plays enough ping pong to qualify for the Grandex Office Ping Pong Power Rankings system. The algorithm used is secret to everyone but commissioner Joe Nullet, and the rankings are only updated on Monday mornings. The secrecy involved affords us BCS-era drama, but in 2018. Glory, outrage, and everything in between await.

Here are this week’s updated rankings:

Assorted Comments

1. Bow down.

2. Nice.

3. Wow. Look at all this movement! 12 ranking changes in one week. Wild!

4. The Prim/Barrett battle continues, with Prim edging out DJ Duds in this week’s rankings.

5. Joe’s completely revamped his game, and I have a feeling New Joe is destined for the top 8 sooner than you might think.

6. The surging Ross has dropped a spot. Dude needs to play more.

7. Phil climbing.

8. The rankings are sleeping on Ad, IMO. Very solid record and play style.

9. Hayden still behind the winless Jay. Which brings us to…

Two-Sentence Interview Of The Week

Jared: What are your thoughts on your last place ranking?

Hayden: Nowhere to go but up I guess (insert “man shrugging” emoji)

This Week’s Featured Image Addition

I’ve added Dr. Robert Ford AKA Anthony Hopkins’ reflection into the office mirror. Why, you may ask? As a shameless plug for the Westworld podcast I do with Ross Bolen called Freeze All Motor Functions, of course! We’re the #2 Westworld podcast in the world right now, and the #1 Westworld podcast that does full scene-by-scene recaps of each episode instead of just highlight discussions. If you’re confused as all shit after Sunday’s episode, check out our recap and become — at a bare minimum — slightly less befuddled.

Main Feature

I noticed Jake was only three points behind Dillon, so I figured I’d help coordinate a matchup between the two. It went down, and I took notes as it happened with the score written down at every service change.

0-0

Dillon’s first serve wasn’t in. Bad start.

I’m very surprised by Dillon’s pretty good form considering he never plays.

3-2 (Dillon)

Jake’s having trouble with Dillon’s surprising speed

Jake gave up a point via a serve that didn’t ever touch the table. Astounding.

6-4 (Dillon)

Dillon botched another serve.

9-6 (Dillon)

Nice.

Jake botched another serve. This is not a pretty game.

A lot of unforced errors going on here.

12-8 Dillon

Jake had a nice slam at the net.

Jake gave this point back with a beach-balled slam.

13-12 (Dillon)

This is where things get buck wild.

Dillon hit the ball into the net.

Dillon hit it long.

Dillon unforced error into the net.

Dillon long ball.

Dillon long ball.

13-17 (Jake)

Dillon long ball.

Dillon long ball.

Dillon nice shot!

Advantage Jake (20-15)

Advantage Jake (20-16)

Game Jake (21-16)

What a ride.

See you next week..

7

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (@JaredBorislow) is a Senior Editor for Grandex Inc and the supreme leader of the Bone Zone.

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