Girl Takes Longest Recorded Uber Ride Ever To See Her Boyfriend, Is Definitely Up To Something Fishy

Girl Takes Longest Ever Recorded Uber Ever To See Her Boyfriend, Is Definitely Up To Something Fishy

When I last checked my American Express end-of-the-year statement, I sorted it out by vendor to see where I could cut some costs. My breakdown went as follows:

1. Uber
2. Tex-Mex Restaurant
3. Grocery Store

It became very clear to me that an easy way for me to reduce spending was by driving myself to my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant and not drinking enough margaritas that it would be considered unsafe for me to drive home. Frankly, Uber is a luxury and my yearly spending wasn’t actually all that bad when you consider how much a DUI costs. But I never even got close to the Uber trip taken by a “19 or 20-year-old” woman who ended up going 397 miles from Williamsburg, Virginia to Brooklyn, New York.

My first reaction to this was, “She must have been hammered and thought she was just getting a ride around Brooklyn only to get swindled by a crafty driver who wanted to bank in on her rider passing out in the backseat.” But this was no accident – she took the ride to see her boyfriend who actually lived in Brooklyn.

The cost of the ride? Way fucking cheaper than you would’ve expected. Like, cheap enough that it actually kind of makes sense if you can’t afford a plane ticket over $300 for a weekend jaunt. At $294.09, this actually sounds like a pretty damn good deal to me. Sure, it took around eight hours and a flight would’ve only taken about one, but whatever. She got where she needed to go.

The driver, 64-year-old Janis Rogers, didn’t have a pee break the entire time and somewhat complained about the fact that she only made $9.00 hour after she had to make the return trip back to Virginia. While you can make the argument that she got what she signed up for, I’ll say this: I would’ve taken the financial hit and denied the ride once this chick put in the destination. I know she’s probably got bills to pay and mouths to feed, but shit, 16 hours is a long-ass time to be schlepping someone around.

In regards to her passenger, Rogers said, “She didn’t seem excited to see her boyfriend. She was kind of blasé. She looked tired.” I’m assuming she was strung out on something, trying to catch her boyfriend cheating, visiting him solely to yell at him, or just using “boyfriend” as an excuse to run away from her overbearing parents that were trying to keep her in community college.

Either way, I’m good sticking with my Ubers to Tex-Mex restaurants. Brooklyn’s Mexican food isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

[via Metro UK]

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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