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I finished my Christmas shopping this weekend, so I’m a pretty happy camper. I won’t need to go near a store during the crapshow known as the holiday shopping season. Instead, my weekends will be spent on the couch, watching Hallmark movies while drinking hot chocolate. But while I’ve got no complaints about the weekend and my weekends for the rest of the year, these people weren’t quite as lucky.
Fans of The Office
With all of the reboots of long-gone television shows that are currently gracing our screens, it’s no wonder that fans are clamoring for The Office to return. However, the series’ star Steve Carell seemed to shoot down those hopes during his hosting appearance on Saturday Night Live this weekend, despite pleas from some familiar faces:
And since none of us want a version without Michael Scott (remember those final two seasons?!), it looks like we won’t be getting this reboot any time soon. [via People]
Turkey Lovers
If you are a fan of turkey, which I am, this is the week for you for obvious reasons. But if you happen to use ground turkey for anything, which I do, there’s also some bad news this Thanksgiving week.
Due to an outbreak dating back to November 2017, at least 164 people in 35 states have gotten ill due to tainted ground turkey, including one person in California who died and 63 people who have been hospitalized. As a result, Jennie-O Turkey Store Sales recalled 91,388 pounds of raw ground turkey products after the USDA found that a sample of the products tested positive for a salmonella reading matching the strain within the outbreak.
However, the recall doesn’t exactly solve the problem. According to CNN, the USDA noted that “there doesn’t appear to be one centralized distributor, the agency said. This could mean that “it might be widespread in the turkey industry.”” In addition to ground turkey, salmonella has been found in turkey patties, pet food and, in a fact that may ruin your meal on Thursday, live turkeys.
Of course, I’m still going to stuff my face on Thanksgiving, but hopefully, I don’t suffer any consequences besides the requisite food baby. [via CNN]
Tyler Badie
The Missouri running back had an excellent game on Saturday, with 53 yards from scrimmage and one touchdown on eight touches in a 50-17 win over Tennessee. But Badie made headlines for what he almost lost instead of what he caught.
Badie was making a run in the third quarter when Volunteers linebacker Daniel Bituli made a grab for him that caused the freshman to unintentionally moon anyone who happened to be watching:
"Kept his pants just high enough" 💀 pic.twitter.com/in3kr3EKxj
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) November 17, 2018
Okay, it’s probably wrong of me to objectify an 18-year-old…but that is one fine behind. [via Bleacher Report]
Attendees at The “Grand Slam of Darts”
Holy crap, there is really an event for everything isn’t there? But attendees at the Grand Slam of Darts in England this weekend didn’t have a bad weekend because they actually spent their weekend at the Grand Slam of Darts. Instead, the event probably stank… because it literally stank.
Dutch player Wesley Harms accused Scotland’s Gary Anderson of farting his way to the win, stating that Anderson’s passing gas on the stage during their match was enough to cause his loss.
Anderson denied answering the call of the wild burrito, stating, “If the boy thinks I’ve farted he’s 1,010-percent wrong. I swear on my children’s lives that it was not my fault. I had a bad stomach once on stage before and admitted it. So I’m not going to lie about farting on stage.” He added, “Usually if I fart on stage I s—t myself, I’ve told you that before.”
Well, that’s a lovely image, Mr. Anderson.
Finding the humor in the situation was the UK’s Professional Darts Corporation chairman Barry Hearn, who joked, “We’ve got to get to the bottom of this. Something doesn’t smell right.”
Ah, fart jokes. The great uniter. [via New York Post]
Alex Smith
Gruesome injury for Alex Smith.
Looks like a broken leg 😳pic.twitter.com/8mzirWFMBW
— LeadingNFL (@LeadingNFL) November 18, 2018
Yeah, I don’t really need to say much here, do I? .
Respond
Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Dillon & Dave
Last week was our week of mourning for them.
You’re on a roll of L’s today
I really am, but that extends beyond my PGP comments so this is par for the course today.
Not getting an Office reboot is the best news possible. I can’t even imagine what kind of disaster trying to remake that show in 2018 without Michael Scott would be
Also, 2018 The Office (as Steve Carell pointed out) would be terrible, that show was not PC
Smith’s injury happened o Nov 18, 33 years to the day after Theismann broke the same 2 bones. Even more crazy, they both happened on the 40 yard line. AND, both games ended 21-23.
Cue spooky music
Legit almost vomited after watching that break. Not as bad as Theismann’s, but still gruesome.
I wish the powers that be in show biz would stop with the reboots and exercise the creative parts of their brains once in a while.
Don’t reboot The Office. We have enough shit-tier reboots that exist solely to make money. Be happy with what we have and stfu
I (was) an Alex Smith fantasy owner.
ugh.
What? Why? Do you play in a 20 person league? Alex Smith sucks
If only Alex Smith drank just a few more glasses of milk when he was a kid then his bones would have been stronger and this never would have happened. Now, people who’s teams are in 7th place and below in their fantasy leagues have to go pick up a QB off the waiver wire this week all because they made poor decisions lol