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I’m writing this during Lady Gaga’s half-time performance at the Super Bowl and as you can imagine, I’m on the verge of tears. So this week’s column is going to flow a bit differently, because Lord knows if my damn football team doesn’t turn it around in the second half, one of the people that had a worse weekend than you is going to be me. But while Gaga is flying around in the air and we head into the second half, here are a few people that had it rough
GNC
Airing a commercial during the Super Bowl is big time. So imagine if you had an ad all set to go, and you found six days before the big game that it wasn’t going to go, which is what happened to retailer GNC.
According to Business Insider, FOX initially approved the ad, but was told that the NFL wouldn’t allow it to air because some of the products sold by GNC include DHEA, Synephrine, and Octopamine, which are on the league’s banned substances list.
GNC said in a statement:
GNC was proud and excited to launch our Courage to Change campaign during the Super Bowl, one of the biggest platforms of the year. However, only six days prior, and after two approval processes, Fox Broadcasting informed us that our company and our message of inspirational true stories was not permitted to air due to NFL policy. In turn, GNC has retained legal counsel and is in the process of preparing a formal complaint with Fox Broadcasting Company.
Having the ‘Courage to Change’ can mean many things and our customers exemplify that every day. We strongly support the stories of change represented by the people in our commercial, and we are committed to sharing that as broadly as possible.
Luckily for GNC, the controversy has driven over 3 million people to view the ad on GNC’s YouTube page, so it’s not all bad.
[via Business Insider]
Coke
The alternative is that you do get your ad on the air and it pisses people off, which is what happened with Coke.
So that’s the beverage company’s Super Bowl ad, which actually originally aired during the 2014 Super Bowl, and some people took exception to “America The Beautiful” being sung in different languages. I could include those tweets here, but honestly, I’m not in the mood to embrace ignorance since the Patriots just went three-and-out. Again. [via People]
Greg Olsen
It’s a huge honor to be a finalist for the Walter Payton Man of The Year award, seriously. There are only three finalists and one winner. Well, usually. This year, there were three finalists…and two winners: Not Peyton Eli Manning and Larry Fitzgerald. The man odd man out? The Panthers’ Greg Olsen.
Now, I’m sure that Olsen does do a lot of good his community – focused on his “Receptions for Research” cancer charity – in order to be recognized by his peers. But to be the only one of three that doesn’t get the Walter Payton trophy? That sucks. But maybe when you get support like this, it doesn’t matter:
Which is more support than I will ever give Stephen Gostkowski after he just missed that extra point. What the hell is happening right now? [via USAToday]
People In The Michigan Suburbs
One of the best parts of the Super Bowl is the food. Personally, I decided to do things a bit differently this year and made a full Thanksgiving dinner instead of the usual ballgame nosh, but no matter what you have, eating during the game is tradition. And with all of that eating comes the obvious trips to the bathroom…unless you live in Macomb County, Michigan.
Officials in eleven suburbs of Detroit have asked residents to “not to flush toilets or simply hold it in during the Super Bowl halftime show in fears the flushing will overwhelm a massive sinkhole” that opened in the town on Christmas Eve. County Public Works Commissioner Candice Miller urged people not to go during halftime in order to avoid a “Big Flush” that could overwhelm the sewer system that was damaged by the football-sink hole.
I’m going to refrain from the obvious “Patriots going down the shitter” joke here, because, frankly, it hurts too much. [via Daily Mail]
Me
Minor Positive: One of my tweets was in a Washington Post article, which is really cool.
Major Negative: You know. I know. We don’t need to talk about it.
But, hold on.
Wait.
Are you… are you serious?
CORRECTION: LET’S TALK ABOUT IT. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DAY. I have to admit at about 9:35 p.m., I was ready to submit this sad column and get in bed, pull the comforter over my head and cry myself to sleep. But real fans never quit…and it’s now 10:29 p.m., Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all-time, and I am reveling in the biggest Super Bowl Come back EVER. Take that. But I’m still leaving myself here since that game damn near had a heart attack tonight. .
Image via YouTube
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Okay, lets get one thing straight: anyone pissed at a commercial that isn’t outright racist or sexist or homophobic needs to get over themselves. If someone doesn’t like the idea that you can sing “America the beautiful” in a language other than english, they can move to Somalia.
The people on my newsfeed who accuse democrats of being overly sensitive snowflakes are the same ones getting furious over hearing a song in a different language. Also boycotting a brand of beer for daring to tell the story of their immigrant founder.
If immigrants are going to bring us more new types of beer, I want as many immigrants as possible.
I loved the story telling how he immigrated to the USA and built something incredible. That commercial gave me chills.
FUCKING THANK YOU.
Not to get overly political here but I think it’s relevant. Donald Trump is the biggest special snowflake of them all. Any SNL skit directed at him gets his panties in a bunch, any news story that’s negative about him or his policies he sees as a personal attack. Literally anything that does not fit his personal narrative has him throw fucking fits. I recognize not all of you like this take, but ya know, it’s important to start a dialogue.
Amen.
The Audi commercial was your favorite though, they were all over those fake equal pay “stats” that you love.
Except that they weren’t. The fake equal pay “stats” are fake because they take the salary of a male doctor and female waitress to justify their position. Audi was saying if we hire two engineers with the same education and same experience, we are going to pay them the same regardless of their gender.
There you go, patting them on the back for raising their hand when they ask everyone, “who wasn’t a douche today? Me, Me, Me!!” So no, Audi was saying, we are equal pay but other companies aren’t (even though they are) so buy our cars… evidenced by their justification for the commercial.
You been drinking again?
I’m just a bit surprised you’re coming to the defense of Audi AG on their commitment to gender equality when their board and senior leadership has the demographics of a Hitler Youth Boy’s summer camp.
How soon we forget that their parent company VW AG had a go green ad campaign while cheating emissions regulations.
German propaganda is not to be trusted.
Just a lot of bad takes today.
It’s a shame that even Super Bowl commercials can divide people.
Even when the Pats were down 28-3, my experience as a lifelong Jets fan had me 100% confident that the Pats would win.
Preach
When they missed the PAT, I thought the mojo was gone. Once they were within one score, I knew it was over. So yeah “genius” Bellichick and “goat” Brady needed two colossally huge choke jobs to win their last 2 rings. Better to be lucky than good.
Probably should have waited to write this until after the game. Damn Falcons…
There’s a 7th floor joke for Olsen that I’m too bummed from last night to figure out
“Third Leg Greg”
Of course the 49ers would hire the offensive coordinator that chose to pass when up 8 with 4 to go and in field goal range in the SUPER BOWL.
Can’t for Kyle Shanahan to get here.
That series was a disaster, but he’s done a great job this year.
Also, there’s no guarantees on a 53 yard field goal. I didn’t hate the call.
Very true and I’m sure that he’ll do a good job for a few years until Jed York fires him for no reason whatsoever.
They probably could’ve gotten it down to under 50 with Freeman running pretty decently. And an under 50 yard field goal inside a dome has a pretty good shot at being made.
Thought we were going to have to put you on suicide watch for awhile there.
I may have popped a few extra Lexapro.
“Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory: An in depth look at sports in Georgia”
Tom Brady is a manifestation of Hades himself.
Go. Pats. Fuck. Work.
Macomb County is terrible, so in a semi-awful way, I enjoy their being told to remain full of shit.
Hey. Home is always home, even if you have to restrict bathroom use.