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This was a weekend of ups and downs for the author of your favorite Monday morning think piece. Up: I got to go to the Patriots game and see my beloved team win (even though it was rather ugly.) Down: I spent two hours arguing with Comcast over PPV porn orders that I did not make. Not that there’s anything wrong with ordering porn, but I’m not paying for 60 bucks worth of it that I didn’t even get to watch. Up: I got to take an all-too-rare Saturday afternoon nap. Down: I also had a not-rare-enough Sunday night anxiety attack.
Even with the ups and downs, my weekend was still better than some people’s.
Zach Miller
Honestly, I don’t think I need to say anything about how bad of a weekend Chicago Bears tight end Zach Miller had; just watch the video:
Wow worst officiating ever on a clear Zach Miller TD catch where he unfortunately blows out knee. Ref who reversed TD should be suspended. pic.twitter.com/CUs0m1BR8c
— LiL' Geck (@MrktScalper) October 29, 2017
To make it even worse, the touchdown was overturned. [via New York Post]
Christopher McDonald
Most of us know Christopher McDonald for his role as Shooter McGavin in the film Happy Gilmore. But that little factoid did not impress cops in Lake Arrowhead, CA when McDonald was arrested for DUI over the weekend.
According to witnesses, McDonald drove his classic silver Porsche off the highway around 9:00 p.m., taking out a gas meter at Stater Bros. and ending up in an embankment. When cops arrived, McDonald told them about his role in the 1996 Adam Sandler film Happy Gilmore, but they were indifferent to his stardom and took him into custody; he was later released without bail.
No word on if this is how McDonald responded to his arrest, but I’m assuming so.
[via TMZ]
Oklahoma City Thunder
Friday night was a rough one for the Thunder, Not only did they lose to the Timberwolves, but something very strange happened on the flight from Minneapolis to Chicago, where they took on the Bulls Saturday night.
Thunder star Camelo Anthony posted this picture of the plane after it landed in Chicago:
What caused that damage, you ask? Well, if you ask the folks at Delta, who were in charge of the charter, they’d tell you it was a bird.
The airline said in a statement,
Delta flight 8935, operating from Minneapolis to Chicago-Midway as a charter flight for the Oklahoma City Thunder, likely encountered a bird while on descent into Chicago. The aircraft, a Boeing 757-200, landed safely without incident; customers have since deplaned and maintenance teams are evaluating. Safety is Delta’s top priority.
Anyone buying that bird story? [via CBSSports]
A 10 Year-Old Ohio Boy
Remember when you would get bored as a kid? You’d whine and one of your parents would tell you to go find something to do. Well, that’s exactly what this kid did, although it’s probably not what his parents had in mind.
According to The Daily Mail, “The boy took his mother’s boyfriend’s car from his Cleveland home on Thursday and led police on a high-speed interstate pursuit that continued with state troopers chasing him on the Ohio Turnpike.” The chase lasted 45 miles and reached speeds of 100MPH before police were able to stop the kid by nudging the car into a grassy ditch.
The Ohio State Highway Patrol got part of the chase on dashcam:
So how long do you think he’s grounded for? [via The Daily Mail]
Pretty Much Everyone in Washington
I don’t normally get political in this column, but let’s be honest: announcing that charges have been filed on a Friday but don’t make any arrests until Monday? Bold move, Mr. Mueller. I imagine that pretty much everyone in Washington spent the last 48 hours panicking that the police will come knocking at their door this morning. Can’t imagine a weekend worse than that. .
Image via YouTube
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Yu Darvish, the Dodgers and all the LA bandwagon fans, and Kevin Spacey take the cake for me
LA ain’t the only team with bandwagon fans, I can tell you that, sir.
You’re right Dave, I’m tired of all these Texas State fans coming out the woodwork
don’t let the cats get hot.
Yeah but their bandwagon fans are the worst because they’ll REALLY get into it when a team is good, but when their success tapers off, the fans will forget that the team even exists. LA sports “fans” are the worst in the country.
Source: went to college in LA.
have you met all the new royals fans?
I have and it’s always amazing reminding them of Madison Bumgarner’s soul crushing game 7 performance.
that game traumatized me. Actually that game + Joe Buck traumatized me
Royals are still better than cards fans #bestfansinbaseball
No, because they are all already gone!
To add on to Zach Miller’s issues, reports are coming out that he may lose his leg. T&Ps to him, that’s just shit
Bears finally get a TD and the guy that does it blows up his leg and it’s overturned. That franchise is a disaster.
It was a disaster a few years ago, but I think it’s turned a corner and is now mediocre.
Two gun that baby!!
I think I sprained my wrist while napping on Saturday despite going out Friday nights. Riveting life I have.
I somehow pulled my groin while watching stranger things so I feel you.
Guys, Sallie Mae coerced me into bettering myself and then she started stealing my money in a financially perverted way and now I feel vulnerable and left alone in a cold world of dystopia #metoo
I think you’re right. The plane probably hit a 10 year old boy.
That’s a big ass dent.
Not sure why you brought Ohio into this