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Good Monday Morning, friends. I had a quiet weekend, so therefore I don’t have any complaints. Watched some sports; caught up on some shows on my DVR; did some crafting. Even so, the weekend went by too fast. But at least I wasn’t any of these people.
Ronnie Ortiz-Magro
I have to admit that I haven’t been watching Jersey Shore Family Vacation, but even I know that a.) Ronnie Ortiz-Magro is a new father, and b.) he **almost** cheated on his baby-mama, Jen Harley, on this week’s ep. Now, there’s no telling if that’s what led to the couple’s nasty Instagram fight this weekend, but my guess is that it probably didn’t help.
The pair was spotted partying together on Saturday evening, but things took a turn on Sunday when some Instagram story sparring:
The real loser here? The couple’s newborn daughter Ariana, because she’s got these two charming humans as parents. [via US Magazine]
If you’re into Jersey Shore, checkout Jerzday, a Jersey Shore podcast on Grandex Labs.
Dr. Fahd Ahmad
For most parents, the worst day in the lifetime of raising children is the day that those children figure out how to out-smart them. Luckily for most parents, most kids don’t figure this out until at least their teens, and let’s be honest – most weren’t as slick as they think they are. I mean, how many times did we think we got away with something and it turned out our parents knew what was up the whole time?
But it seems as though in this case, we’ve got a kid whose got it all figured out. Dr. Ahmad, a doctor and researcher who blogs about parenting, shared the following tweet about how his 9-year-old outsmarted him and his wife in relation to one of everyone’s favorite childhood visitors, the Tooth Fairy:
Just learned our 9y/o did an experiment on us. Lost tooth, told no one for 3d, kept tooth under his pillow. No $. Then he tells us he lost the tooth, next night there is money under his pillow. Then confronted us with his scientific evidence that the tooth fairy isn't real.
— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 23, 2018
Good luck, Dr. Ahmad. You’ve got a wily one on your hands. [via Mashable]
This Thirsty Lady
I don’t mean that’s she’s desperate, I mean that she’s literally parched. That’s the only way to explain her complete meltdown at a Staten Island fast food restaurant on Sunday.
The unidentified woman ordered a “$4 Wicked Good Deal meal” at Popeye’s and was not pleased to find out her meal only consisted of chicken strips, one side and a buttermilk biscuit – but no beverage. So enraged was the woman that she threw a cardboard sign and broke the window with a chair before taking off. But of course, the entire thing was captured on security cameras:
CAUGHT ON CAMERA: Woman smashes window when she finds out Popeyes meal doesn't come with drink https://t.co/5TM9WWpTWN pic.twitter.com/4bzVJwf754
— WFLA NEWS (@WFLA) April 29, 2018
Honestly, I only have one question here: are Popeye’s biscuits as good as KFC’s? [via New York Post]
The Cleveland Indians
Lebron and co. may have made it to the second round of the playoffs this weekend, but their baseball brethren haven’t been so lucky: they are sitting on top of the AL East, but they dropped 3 of 4 to the Seattle Mariners over the weekend.
Despite the losses – the Indians may have won Twitter this weekend.
So, good news — we saw a dog today. pic.twitter.com/SIDZ7eZ3Ov
— Cleveland Indians (@Indians) April 28, 2018
This Guy
A stand up paddle boarder has had a surprise encounter with a dolphin in Western Australia. #Dolphin #7News pic.twitter.com/O3tsQ7qget
— 7 News Sydney (@7NewsSydney) April 28, 2018
Ouch. .
Image via YouTube
Respond
Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Dear @haters, the whole “go on a quick trip and no present” deal for the wife’s bday worked out PERFECTLY. No issues, she’s happy, we got wine drunk, and I’m riding a three night sex streak into Monday. Have a blessed day y’all.
Congrats on the sex streak
Get it how you live, mane. Congrats
That’s awesome that you had sex 3 nights in a row. Too bad your wife’s bung hole probably spews out poop like Mount St. Helen, and she probably leaves more skid-marks on the toilet than a dragster on a racetrack. Jesus Christ she probably has more wax in her ears than a candle shop.
Wat.
Vaginator?
Dear God, please no. I need it to stay far away from this site.
FYI, Indians are in the Central not the East
If the dropping 3 games is the worst weekend, it must’ve been a pretty great weekend all around.
The Thirsty Lady did nothing wrong.
Popeye’s biscuits > KFC biscuits
KFC is trash and doesn’t deserve to be compared to Popeyes. Of course Pop’s biscuits are better
KFC’s biscuits are not even biscuits. Just pucks of gluten falsely identified as biscuits.
The official order of dank biscuits from chains is:
1. Bojangles
2. Hardee’s
3. Cracker Barrel
This is important information
No Churchs Chicken?
Not a parent, so maybe someone can help me out. Even if it wasn’t one of the front ones, I feel like you would notice your child was missing a tooth after three days, no?
I clearly had the right of way
Seriously tho, subscribe to Grandex Labs and get ready for us to react on this week’s Jerzday, co-hosted this week by Will deFries.