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You make a reservation on OpenTable. You ensure that you make your reservation early enough so the lighting is perfect for when you arrive about 15 minutes early to scout potential photo locations. When your friends arrive, you jump in front of them when the mediocre-looking hostess seats you at a table that you’ll later ask to move from in an effort to be closer to the window. When you’re finally seated, you scan the menu up and down – avocado toast, croissants, macaroons? That’s the trifecta.
Once the waiter arrives, you order whichever one he recommends and begin running the perfect filters through your head. When it finally arrives, it’s showtime. You only have about a two- to three-minute window to get the perfect photo before one of your friends who doesn’t “get” it calls you out and says something ignorant like, “Don’t just photograph it – eat it.” But when you post and add the location to the top of your perfectly edited photo, you know it’s all worth it.
Because 100% of the reason you overspend on meals at restaurants is to get Instagram likes, as displayed by this satirical Millennials of New York video that almost seems too real.
I know I’ve said in the past that everyone needs to stop posting their food photos to Instagram, but hell, even I’m guilty of it because it’s just too easy to stack likes when your food looks bomb as fuck.
I mean, what are you supposed to do? Just not post it? Yeah, right, that’d be like not Snapchatting a random dog that isn’t mine that runs up to me while I’m day drinking. Just not gonna happen. .
[via Millennials of New York]
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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I’ve been yelled at more than once for starting my meal when other people I’m with are taking pictures of it. I got scolded FOR DOING WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING.
fuck ’em. food is for eating.
Assholes who take photos of food they purchase and then post them online should be euthanized. The world is full enough as it is, thanks.
I sort of wondered how you knew all about the inner monologue of Girl last week when she was having a helluva time getting that insta ready for upload, but now the pieces of the puzzle are starting to fall into place.
God damnit…
I give people a 30 second window to get their picture and start eating before I take the plate from them and start eating it. Power moves at dinner.
Instagramming food you COOKED is one thing, everyone likes to see a nice pink smoke ring or a sizzling T-bone. Instagramming food you PURCHASED is try hard and pathetic.
Honestly, I think you might have a problem. We’re here for you.
I… I think you’re missing the humor here.
I mean, you’re the one who links to his food instagram (great shot, btw) in the article.
What a time to be alive.