Fancy Taco Bells Are Going To Be A Thing Just Like Demolition Man Predicted

Fancy Taco Bells Are Going To Be A Thing Just Like Demolition Man Predicted

Demolition Man is the crowning achievement of human culture masquerading as a dystopian action film. This is widely and rightfully accepted as fact. What we were not sure of was the factual accuracy of the film.

The film takes place in 2032, and mentions several historical events that have yet to happen. For instance, Los Angeles has not been renamed San Angeles, and there are only 27 amendments to the constitution, well shy of the 61st amendment that allows Arnold Schwarzenegger to become President.

However, some things have come to fruition. We’re cracking down on food and drink that are bad for you, driverless cars are a thing, I use the three seashells after I go to the bathroom, people use currency far less, and Associate Bob’s haircut is in style.

A new development has come to light that in this reporter’s opinion signifies the coming of the Franchise Wars.

Taco Bell is opening a series of upscale establishments, including on across from the Cosmopolitan Hotel on the Las Vegas strip.

From the LA Times:

The restaurant will serve the full Taco Bell menu, plus exclusive Cantina items meant to be shared: chili cheese nachos, rolled taco platter, mini quesadilla nachos, “homestyle” nachos and chicken tenders. Dishes ranges in price from $3 to $5.

The article goes on to say that the Taco Bell Cantina will serve alcohol (yay!) in the form of “a slushie-type fruit-flavored beverage,” and tells us that we can pair this drink with “tapas-style” dishes. Slow your roll there, Taco Bell. Fancy places can claim “tapas-style.” What you serve are finger foods. It’s a small, but important distinction.

So who wants to take bets on how soon this thing closes? Las Vegas is for coked-out benders and poor financial decisions. The exact antithesis of this would be stoner food that advertises itself as something you can purchase with coins.

Enhance your calm, Taco Bell.

Image via Rob Wilson /

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International sailing champion and friend to most wolves. Except Larry, he knows what he did.

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