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How bad do you want the ultimate? Are you actively looking to redline your adrenal glands for one more run at glory? Because based on what I know about caffeine, this coffee will jetpack you directly into the sun and you will die.
It’s called Black Insomnia, and it possesses 702 milligrams of caffeine per 12 ounces. After running the numbers, it looks like that’s 58.5 milligrams per ounce. It’s been billed as “The World’s Strongest Coffee.” Personally, I don’t need that in my life. I’ve been very open about my affair with Alpha Brain and cold brew coffee (shoutout to the real cold brew committee), but I’m just not at the point of flirting with death yet. Yes, it’s difficult getting your bearings on a Monday morning, but are you really willing to risk blowing the doors off multiple bathroom stalls for a little competitive advantage?
So how much caffeine do you have to pound to actually kill yourself? VICE looked into this for us, because of course they did.
So there are a lot of figures floating around out there. To get to the bottom of it, I asked Dr. Patricia Broderick who, among many other medical accolades, is the editor-in-chief of the Journal of Caffeine Research. Our conversation got off to a rough start (“Can somebody overdose on caffeine? No, no, caffeine can’t kill you,” was, oddly, the first thing she said), but she eventually told me something interesting: We just don’t really know how much caffeine it takes to put you in lethal danger. That’s because caffeine tolerance is a highly individualized thing. “Women are much more susceptible to the effects of caffeine than are men,” said Dr. Broderick, who added that young people also have much lower tolerances.
I usually max out at 2 cups per day. That third cup at 4 p.m. tastes a little bit too much like depression for me. Toss in a couple Alpha Brains, one cold brew will have me closing on Kyra Sedgwick status. But I’m not trying to tweak out all day, Black Insomnia. The giant “X” on your bag of beans is a major red flag. So, yeah, I probably won’t be trying Black Insomnia unless they send a case to our office, in which case the whole office will surely look like Jesse Pinkman’s apartment during one of his rock bottom phases..
[h/t Grub Street]
Image via Shutterstock
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Dave
Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.
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At that point, you might as well do cocaine if the coffee is that strong
Alpha Brain, Black Insomnia Coffee, and Crystal Meth = The way to truly access God
More like become a God….you’d probably be able to see the future with that combination in your blood stream.
Damn that coffee is like pounding 3 1/2-ish scoops of C4…..Think my heart would literally explode during a workout with that much caffeine. They need to change the name of the coffee to “Dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight” cause you might die.
Props for the Jack Nicholson “Joker” reference
Okay, but the real question is how would the coffee dump be afterwards?
Have to think it shoots you through the ceiling.
After it closes every deal
close deals. crap pants. let’s party.
Anyone know if Sodexo “Cold Brewed Iced Coffee” is actual CB or just marketing?
2 cups a day at max? That’s rookie level coffee consumption
anything more does nothing. you’ll reach that point one day, sir.
Those nootropic supplements do nothing except give you really expensive piss
Alpha Brain is great and all but how do you afford to use it as often as recommended?