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When I say that I have absolutely nothing planned this weekend, I truly mean that. Outside of a Christmas party on Saturday night that I’m still very much on the fence about, my schedule is wide open and I’m going to keep it that way.
Please do not interpret this as an invitation for any of you to reach out to me with offers of “beers at a bar” or “laser tag at the mall.” I’m telling you that I have no plans in the hope that it remains this way. I don’t want to do a single solitary thing this weekend, which is why I’m going to embark on a journey to the grocery store either tonight or tomorrow night with a haul that will allow me to remain indoors, underneath my heated blanket with my blinds drawn for close to 48 whole hours.
I’m a simple man with simple tastes. I love cheese. Oftentimes, you can find me with a bowl of kettle corn. I’ll even break out some prosciutto if the mood strikes me. As for beverages this weekend I’m really not sure yet. I may go alcohol-free this weekend just to give the old liver a break, although I’m not completely sold on that. Perhaps a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.
That’ll be a discussion for later on in the evening on Friday. Now, obviously, I’m going to have some Perrier with me. But I’d like to keep all of my options open. I don’t often drink soda, but when I do, I do it the classic way – Coca-Cola or get the fuck out of my face.
Suggestions on how I could improve this list? I’ll consider any and all of them, although I really don’t see how you could possibly improve this. I’ve spent well over ten minutes curating this list and I can’t for the life of me think of anything else I’ll need for an entire weekend spent indoors without sunlight.
I have a few Netflix shows that I’ve been meaning to get to, but if it begins to snow outside I will abandon them all in favor of The Lord Of The Rings trilogy (director’s cut, obviously). There’s really no telling where this weekend will go. I might pull a Howard Hughes and just piss in empty milk jugs all weekend so I don’t have to walk the five feet from my room to the bathroom.
I can tell you I’ll have a cooler near me with Perrier on ice and wet naps for the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and Xtra Cheddar Goldfish. I know that people will frown upon me for calling all weekend plans off this early in the week, but I can tell you with confidence that this could be an all-time weekend for yours truly.
I hope you don’t need to get ahold of me, because my phone will be on ‘Do Not Disturb’ from the moment I get out of work on Friday until Monday morning. God bless every one of you. .