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I've never heard of Merrimack College, but if it spawns alumni that can create something as epic as the "Dayman" musical while huffing paint, I will send all of my future offspring there. A banquet of Milksteak (boiled hard) and Jellybeans (served raw, of course) followed the commencement.
That was hilarious although I couldn’t listen to the whole thing as it is still a commencement speecg.