Sitting next to the co-worker that talks or sings to himself. PGP.

Recognizing menu changes at Applebees. PGP.

When even you wouldn’t fuck your online dating profile. PGP.

Letting it go to voicemail. PGP.

“I’d be so much better at my job if I still had Adderall.” PGP.

Resisting the urge to replace “Regards” with “Go fuck yourself.” PGP.

Contemplating “What would happen if I just didnt show up?” on your morning commute. PGP.

When stretching is as far as you get into a workout. PGP.

When you realize that you consume more coffee than any other beverage, alcoholic or not. PGP.

Always taking the “minimum payment” option. PGP.

My potential suitors are starting to lose their hair. PGP.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t been that drunk in a long time.” PGP.