Forgetting to preheat the oven. PGP.

I just Instagrammed a spreadsheet. PGP.

My friend who still lives with his parents just endorsed me on LinkedIn. PGP.

The “friendly reminder” e-mail from tech support regarding the company’s internet use policy. PGP.

I’m not drinking alone, I have the entire Verizon Wireless Network behind me. PGP.

“Yeah, just send me an email to remind me.” PGP.

There’s cake in the break room. PGP.

Drastically changing the conversation as soon as the boss walks in. PGP.

The piece of shit that made popcorn for an afternoon snack. PGP.

Getting a play-by-play of your coworker’s son’s Little League game without asking. PGP.

When you’ve memorized the senior partners’ Starbucks orders. PGP.

Going out to dinner and being home by 9 as your birthday celebration. PGP.