“Although your credentials are impressive, there were other candidates whose qualifications more closely match our specific requirements or preferences.” PGP.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not feeling 22. PGP.

Don’t quit your day job…. no really, don’t. Not in this economy. PGP.

Showing upper management how to use the internet. PGP.

Getting shit for not having any decor in your office. PGP.

“…and a Diet Coke.” PGP.

I think the other burners on my stove are jealous of front-left. PGP.

“Please enter your access code followed by the pound sign” PGP.

Leather computer chair swamp ass. PGP.

“I think I have low-T.” PGP.

When my extension rings, it’s more than likely my mom calling. PGP.

Spending the Fourth with the girlfriend’s parents. PGP.