Someone viewed my LinkedIn profile, but they did it anonymously. PGP.

Saving an email in drafts and sending it from home so the boss thinks I stayed at work later than I actually did. PGP.

Being out of the loop. PGP.

Using a calculator for extremely basic math. PGP.

Man, I look tired. PGP.

Stashing an electric razor in your center console. PGP.

Forgetting to take your cellphone to the bathroom. PGP.

Searching for an empty parking lot to eat your lunch in. PGP.

Suddenly becoming a diehard fan of your boss’s favorite team. PGP.

Actually using the vegetable drawer of your refrigerator for vegetables, not beer. PGP.

Sometimes I use Tinder to boost my self-esteem. PGP.

One vagina for the rest of your life. PGP.