Got super drunk on my Day 4 at new job. Threw up on my way in on Day 5. PGP.

Fell asleep in the middle of my fantasy draft last night. PGP.

I got dumped on a Sunday afternoon. PGP.

The only napkins in my house are from Chipotle. PGP.

“Please replace paper in tray 2”. PGP.

Feeling an inexplicable wave of nostalgia whenever I listen to John Mayer. PGP.

8 hours of work post-gamed with 8 hours of dreams about work. PGP.

Using Shift when Caps Lock is on. PGP.

Downloading MyFitnessPal and getting nervous it’s feedback is going to tell you you’re an alcoholic. PGP.

Day 2 at my new job. Accidentally set my brand new key card on fire. PGP.

My boss indirectly told me he only keeps me around because I’m pretty. PGP.

Scrolling through college memories on Timehop while avoiding work at your boring 9-5. PGP.