My work wife quit and it has affected me more than any prior break up. PGP.

I’m just trying daily to meet my wife on Bumble. Is that too much to ask? PGP.

Spending too much time making a “creative” gif of yourself to add to the new employee intro email….Outlook doesn’t support gifs. PGP.

The city I live in doesn’t allow alcohol sales before noon on Sunday and just outlawed bottomless mimosas. PGP.

Decided to just work from home today and tell nobody. Not a single person noticed. PGP.

When someone follows you into the bathroom then takes the stall next to yours. PGP.

“I have some heartburn about this…” Fuck. PGP.

Week 5 at the new job. Already fed up with unnecessary office drama. Decided to give my two weeks. PGP.

Tums. PGP.

Colleagues that make jokes in public that people would only understand if they work here. PGP.

Officially have more LinkedIn connections than Facebook friends. PGP.

Kevin Duranted myself in the group chat. PGP.