“The new hires are all bright eyed and bushy tailed.” PGP.

Blocking your schedule out for a “meeting” so you can go buy 1/2 price candy during work. PGP.

Just saw a tube of denture adhesive cream on a girl’s desk at work. PGP.

Just ran out of data until the 18th. I’m flying to Europe in 8 days. PGP.

My only real motivation at work is not to get fired and not to get hassled. PGP.

I receive more messages from LinkedIn recruiters than I do from Bumble…I’m not even looking for a new job. PGP.

Ugh, I hate hearing about my coworkers’ kids and their Halloween. PGP.

My one friend in the office brought her lunch without telling me. Now I have to walk outside in the pouring rain to get lunch alone today. PGP.

My coworkers throat clearing rivals that of a 737 taking off. PGP.

Havig to go to the minute clinic at CVS when you get sick because you’re too busy at work during the day, and because you still haven’t found a new primary care physician after aging out of the pediatrician’s office. PGP.

Found roaches running through the coffee cabinet today. PGP.

My fiancee outed me as a serial Bachelor franchise fan and won’t stop giving me shit about it. I’m a dude. PGP.