My coworkers were talking about their stock returns the other day and the only thing I was thinking about was how fast I shotgunned that beer after work Friday. PGP.

I thought my boss was being generous when he told me to take the Friday after Thanksgiving off. He docked me a day’s pay for not coming in. PGP.

I deleted the Bumble app, but not my account six months ago. Today my girlfriend got a series of screenshots from her sister when she came across my profile. PGP.

Minimizing your group chat at the right time by knowing the sound of everyone in the office’s footsteps. PGP.

We’ve officially run out of generic tums and ibuprofen in the office medicine closet. I’m the only one who ever goes in there.. PGP.

One screen shows Skype conference presentation, other screen watching Tiger’s comeback! PGP.

Is it even legal to make people work when the entire building’s water is shut off? PGP.

Not getting nominated for the annual office holiday award. PGP.

“Get in here! We’re drawing for Secret Santa!” PGP.

Directing someone to your boss only to have him put it right back on your desk. PGP.

I had to miss work because I was sick and was actually upset by that fact. PGP.

The motivational quotes on Halls wrappers are the inspiration I need to make it to Christmas. PGP.