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That title is not hyperbole. Real, human people genuinely do refer to me as “The Clearance Rack” on account of the fact that I have a penchant for seeking out deep discounts on apparel. My love for cheaper-than-MSRP clothing began last year, when I’d hit up going-out-of-business Sports Authority stores and take advantage of the unbelievable savings hidden between completely checked-out stockboys holding haphazardly-folded Champion-brand workout tanks, a Huffy with bent handlebars and a flat tire, and numerous tubs of Quench Gum.
When the Authority officially left us not long after, I was forced to adapt. This is a full-price world, and I’m a discount boy. I needed a new home — somewhere I could feel safe — and I never found it.
Cyber Monday — or, as I call it, “Thriftmas” — is here, and it brings with it good tidings and even better deals all thanks to Man Outfitters, the internet’s #1 destination for dudes who like to wear clothes that make them look cool.
If you’re not familiar with Man Outfitters’ offering, prepare to have your day made by a guy nicknamed “The Clearance Rack.” Man Outfitters has scoured the world to bring PGP readers the most fashionable, comfortable, classy, adjective-inducing brands they’ll ever need, all tied together with the most intuitive customer experience you’ll ever experience as a customer. Want proof? Download their unbelievably easy-to-use iOS app, which has Apple Pay integration so you don’t even have to search through your wallet to check out. Sleek.
Now, as I say to every cashier who tries to make small talk with me, “Back to the deals.” Why am I so high on Man Outfitters’ Cyber Monday sale? Because I have insider info, and I know that the deals are absolute fuego. Sad thing is, I’m not allowed to share the exact info with you just yet. Apologies, it’s just business. JUST KIDDING THEIR CYBER MONDAY DEAL IS 25% OFF SITEWIDE HOLY SHIT!
Below are some of my personal favsies that you can save big buckeroos on right this very fucking second.
Sendero Provisions ‘Mescalero Moon’ Hat
I own this hat because it fucking owns. Just look at that scene — beautiful. I shed a tear the first time I gazed upon it.
True Grit ‘Pebble Pile’ Pullover Fleece
True Grit might as well be called Truth Grit, because it’s the real deal. My True Grit 1/4-zip is the softest thing I’ve ever touched, and I once touched Will deFries.
Southern Marsh ‘Marshall’ Quilted Vest
Too warm for that True Grit? Call yourself Quilt Chamberlain with this Southern Marsh number.
Filson Lightweight ‘Alaskan Guide’ Shirt
Filson = quality = respect
Vineyard Vines ‘Breaker’ Stretch Chino Pants
I just copped two pairs of these badboys because they’re 98% cotton and 2% spandex, which gives you 100% mobility with 0% squeeze.
Vineyard Vines ‘Mouline’ Solid Socks
I mean, these are just comfy-ass socks. You should buy them.
If you’re not pumped for this sale, you’re the Grinch who stole Thriftmas. To stay as up-to-date as possible with all things discount MO, download Man Outfitters’ iOS app. Happy future savings.
Image via Shutterstock