======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Here at PGP, we rely on our stellar set of remote writers to bring you fresh content 24/7. Here are some favorites picked exclusively from our remote staff:
My Immigrant Parents Taught Me What It Means To Be A Patriot
Amidst the many columns I’ve written bitching about inconsequential things and making fun of my disaster of a life, this is a column I’m proud to have written. My love for my country is only surpassed by my admiration for my parents, and this column allowed me to showcase both. As with all my best work, it was written while in the death throes of a brutal hangover, which it not only cured, but also got me fired up enough to
run through a brick wallwalk to brunch. If you love America, give it a read.
Why Are The Last Few Pounds Always The Hardest?
While the straight-up humor pieces are always super fun to write, I find that I like my own writing more when I’m introspective with a touch of flippancy. You would probably think that the pieces that are more “personal” would be harder to write, but in all honesty, once the idea strikes, they just kind of flow like a written version of the “word vomit” scene in Mean Girls. Sometimes you wind up writing things you don’t even want to put in print, because that means you also have to admit them to yourself. With that being said, I think my favorite piece of my own this year was Why Are The Last Few Pounds Always The Hardest? Writing it forced me to think about some things that I had been subconsciously avoiding, and it’s always incredible when, as a writer, you get to see a piece personally connect with people in the comments. Plus, this was the piece that finally got me a Twitter shout-out from Madison Wickham – the ultimate #PGP is when your boss finally acknowledges your existence.
I Have No Idea What I Do For A Living: Tales Of A Misguided Strategy Consultant
The reason why this is my favorite article is because even 10 months later, it still rings true. Clients still fly me across the country every week for my “strategic expertise,” which I find funny considering my most recent Google searches are, “Guided tours of North Korea” and “Can I put a plastic container on a stovetop?” I’m not one step closer to understanding my job than I was the day I started and I’ve come to the realization this will never change. So Happy New Year to all the other dazed, confused, zero-fucks giving consultants out there. May your status game in 2017 be as strong as your will to provide value.
Make A Drink For Arnold Palmer Tonight
This is my first year on staff, so I’m still a little surreal that people are willing to pay me to read the shit that comes out of my head, but my favorite has got to be the article I wrote the day Arnold Palmer died. I remember I I found out he had passed away, and I sat there not really knowing what to do, so I just started writing. I think it took me about 20 minutes to finish and it’s my favorite because it was this cathartic unloading of every thought and emotion I was having into the piece. I’d never written anything like that before.
I’m An Old Soul And I’m Okay With It
It’s hard to look back and decide which article is the favorite one you wrote. It feels narcissistic and each article represents how I felt at a particular time. There’s some I thought would do well and didn’t and vice versa. Overall, I would say that this piece is my favorite I wrote this year. While it didn’t get the most likes or comments, it represents who I am more than many of my other articles and includes a personal favorite song.
Drinking On Flights Is Overrated And Unnecessary
I don’t think I’ve ever been called a lightweight pussy more consecutive times than in the 24 hour period after this was published. Initially, it did hurt a little, but it gave me the confidence to persevere throughout the rest of the year. Don’t forget to call me out for being a soft little bitch whenever I post something worthy of that title in 2017, and have a Happy New Year.
How A Bachelor Party Made Me Realize I Can’t Wait For My 30s
To borrow a phrase from Tom Brady, “what’s my favorite column? The next one.” But if I had to pick one, it’d probably be this one.
Our Interview With A Cannabis Entrepreneur
My favorite column I wrote this year was hands down my ‘Interview With A Cannabis Entrepreneur” featuring Bob Eschino from Incredible Bars.In a year filled with tons of great news about marijuana, including a bunch of new states passing legislation it felt good to reach out, score an interview, and spread some awareness about how legal marijuana currently works. It was so fun connecting with someone so prominent in the industry, learning a few things along the way, and doing something to help end the prohibition of pot. Because like any issue, it’s important to start a dialogue. If you feel the same look into joining your nearest NORML chapter.
‘Twas The Week Before Christmas: A Poem About Your Empty Office
My favorite piece definitely has to be my re-make of ” ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas.” I fucking love Christmas, best Holiday of the year. I had a lot of fun painting the picture of a typical postgrad sitting in their office the week before Christmas. It is a feeling I know quite a few can relate to with a lot of our PTO being spent on Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties, Weddings, and other holidays throughout the year. It’s great that PGP publishes these creative pieces on top of the news and current event pieces. The free form and creative writing is what separates PGP from other lame sites that just regurgitate the same content everyone else is putting out and us writers appreciate the opportunity to share the works with the community,
– Cush
Love, Heartbreak, And Everything Else That Goes Along With Chicago’s Biggest Christmas Bar Crawl
For as drunk as I was, I actually remember this experience really clearly. The only issue is that I can’t really remember what her face looked like. For all I know, I could have run into her, like, six times over by now. I hope our paths cross again, Elf-Girl-From-Detroit-Who-Had-A-Boyfriend.
– Charlie
My Friend Lost A Bet And Had To Retake The ACT
In honor of the Minnesota Wild’s 11-game winning streak, I nominate the inspirational story of how my friend, a Minnesota sports fan, lost a bet that his Wild would beat the Chicago Blackhawks in a Stanley Cup Playoffs series and had to re-take the ACT as punishment for losing. I also nominate this article as my favorite of 2016 because that same friend brought a girl over to a party at my apartment who recognized the koozie featured in the article when she saw a bunch of us drinking out of it. This girl, who none of us had ever met before and had never been told that story, was a big fan of the site and legitimately excited to find out that she came over to the apartment of a PGP writer with a guy who was the subject of an article she liked. It was a pretty cool moment and it genuinely made me happy to meet a stranger who enjoys my work. Thanks for reading this year , and I’m looking forward to seeing how the Wild choke their season away.
That Time I Was Asked To Do Porn On OKCupid
That Time I Was Asked To Do Porn On OK Cupid, a true story in which I troll a creepy guy who claimed to be a porn director by narrating the premise of a ridiculous hypothetical science-fiction pornographic film. Highlights include erotic intergalactic warfare and a vibrating alien butthole. Check it out when you’re not at the office.
– Best
8 Simple Rules For Sports Parents
Growing up playing sports I saw my fair share of fucking miserable sports parents. This was one post that the idea got me out of bed at 11:30 to go downstairs and write it up. Hopefully I swayed at least one reader from being a piece of shit sports dad/mom.
– Kyle Bandujo.
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
Kyle Bandujo
The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.
@kylebandujo
@bandujokyle
kyle.bandit
Thanks to all the writers and regular commenters. You provide hours of greatly appreciated and much needed entertainment each week. Cheers to 2017.
Back at ya!
RIP Duda
Shots fired at Duda will never get old.
Is there going to be a writers best comments/commenters for 2016 too?
Make one on the reddit forum!
Thank you writers for making our work days a little more bearable