Belvita’s New Ad Is Promoting Their Breakfast Bars To Girls Who Do The Walk Of Shame

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“Oh my God, this is soooooo Schumer in Trainwreck!” — Every Girl Who Loves This Ad

Belvita, known breakfast biscuit purveyor, put out an ad yesterday promoting their new pumpkin spice breakfast bar to girls who enjoy “…long morning walks. In high heels. After a night out.” Or, more commonly known as Shackers, Floozies, and Runaround Sues. See the ad for yourself:

I’m not going to skewer girls for sleeping over at some random guy’s place and hoofing it home the next morning. Everyone’s gotta get theirs. But if I looked out my apartment window down to the street to make sure she was gone after I fake slept for thirty minutes to avoid conversation, the last thing I want to see is her pulling out a breakfast bar to prep herself for the trek home.

At the end of the day, if you’re going to sleep over, at least act like it was an accident. Have some chill. Be coy about it. If you’re walking to the kitchen and throwing a toaster strudel in my toaster while I’m trying to figure out how to get rid of my morning wood, it puts out a real “I get around” vibe and I don’t think anyone wants that.

Props to Belvita for trying to be current and edgy though. May have just taken the lead over Nature Valley in my power rankings of favorite crumb-y breakfast treats. .

Image via Twitter

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Will

Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.

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