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Back in the olden days, it used to be that you actually had to call Domino’s to order a pizza. You programmed the number into your phone so that you had it at the ready whenever the urge struck for some pizza with a side of ranch and an order of Cinna Stix. Then online ordering came, which made it a bit easier if you had access to computer and were embarrassed to voice out loud to another human that you absolutely must have three orders of Stuffed Cheesy Bread right now.
Then finally, last year, Domino’s rolled out an app that allowed you to order pizza by voice – the final frontier of pizza ordering, right? How much easier could it get – I don’t have to talk to a human but I also don’t have to type? Perfect! But there’s a slight problem there when you think about it: Normally, I’m not exactly sober when I’m ordering Domino’s. Actually, I’m most likely all kinds of shit-faced, meaning speaking coherently probably isn’t in my skill set at that particular moment and trying to say “Fiery Hawaiian” without giggling uncontrollably is an insurmountable challenge.
Domino’s, being the ingenious bastards that they are, recognized this as an issue and are now making it even easier to order a fresh pie any time you want one. Starting on May 20th, all you’ll need to be able to do is find the pizza emoji on your phone’s keyboard – and if that’s not already number one in your frequent emojis list, stop reading now, because you aren’t the kind of person I want to associate with. The new system takes pizza ordering to the next level – allowing frequent customers to place their favorite orders over Twitter by simply tweeting the pizza emoji at the Domino’s account.
“It’s the epitome of convenience,” Patrick Doyle, Domino’s CEO, told USA Today. “We’ve got this down to a five-second exchange.” He went on to say, “We want to make it as easy as possible for people to order from us — and this is pretty darned easy.”
Well, Mr. Doyle, my drunk-self thanks you. But what I really want to know is, if I accidentally hit my second most used emoji when I send you the pizza tweet, is the delivery guy going to stop at the liquor store for that bottle of wine on his way over?.
[via Business Insider]
Image via Ken Wolter / Shutterstock.com
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
I can’t decide whether I hate this and think they’re trying way too hard or if they’re complete geniuses. I’m going to go with geniuses.
#FireJayTas
By now my predictive text automatically subs in the pizza emoji every time I type the letter “p” (#blessed), but it then hits me with my second-most used emoji right after- the “100”. Is that going to factor in at all? Because that’s exactly the kind of gamble drunk shambles loves to take. And lose.