Remember when you saw “Jaws” as a kid and refused to get in the ocean on family vacation? Get ready to relive that, all over again. A TESTICLE-EATING MONSTER FISH has been identified off the coast of Florida, Sarasota more specifically. It’s called the pacu, and it’s an even worse relative of the piranha. The pacu is like the piranha, except instead of nibbling on your toes or going after your fingers, the pacu has been known to chomp off unsuspecting male swimmers’ balls.
I think we need to put the Coast Guard on this case. Maybe the Navy. This is something straight out of my nightmares. I mean, look at these teeth.