An Office Memo From The Girl That Everyone Hates

From: Nicole
To: Office
Subject: Happy Hump Day!!!!!!! (LOL)

Hi everyone,

Nicole in Reception here!!!! First off, Happy Wednesday! It’s almost the weekend – YAY! And it’s a long one! I don’t know about you guys, but I’m super excited to get my BBQ on for Labor Day. My new boyfriend, Bob, and I are having some people over on Monday to celebrate our nation’s Independence (or whatever it is that we’re supposed to celebrate on Labor Day – should’ve paid attention in history class LOL). Anyway, we would loveeeeeeee it if any of you stopped by for our little shindig! Bob is supper duper excited to meet you guys. He refers to you as my “office family.” It always makes me tear up when he says that because it just sounds so special. We here at the office really ARE like a family. You guys just mean so much to me! But like any good family, of course we do have our issues (LOL), which brings me to my next point.

I am absolutely not accusing anyone, nor am I pointing any fingers, BUT my Greek yogurt keeps disappearing from the kitchen fridge. It ordinarily wouldn’t be a big deal, but with Bob losing his job and all, money’s just been a littleeeeeeee tight in our home – or condo as the case may be (LOL). Anyway, I just think that’s it’s super rude to take something that doesn’t belong to you. I mean, stealing is a big deal! Bob said I should tell the Big Bad Boss Man, but I would never get my family in trouble (LOL). So, rather than make a big deal out of silly old Greek yogurt (except that it IS kind of a big deal because I really love my yogurt and it’s really mean that someone is stealing it), let’s just put a stop to the silliness! If you accidentally took my yogurt, no problem, just fess up and replace it. I promise I won’t be mad!!!

Also, just a reminder that everyone owes $27 dollars for this year’s birthday fund. I’ve been asking for the money for three weeks and so far only ONE person has given me their money. It’s really hard to plan a party with no money. So, swing by my desk TODAY and drop off that check! Candace’s birthday is next Thursday and it would be really sad if she didn’t have a cake. C’mon guys, do it for Candace!

Oh – and one more thing before I forget! I was reading that magazine named after the Goddess herself (Oprah LOL) and found the most to die for Weight Watchers recipe. I tried to make a copy of it this morning, but I somehow jammed the copy machine. OOPS! Anyway, it will probably be down for a few days. If you need a copy of something, feel free to go across the street to Kinkos. Unfortunately, Boss Man says he will not reimburse any copying expenses. Hopefully it will be up and working by next Tuesday at the latest!!

Anyway, I have to dip out early for a doctor’s appointment – the lady kind (LOL). If the phone rings, just let it go to voicemail. I’ll probably get back with the clients in a few days.

See you tomorrow!!!!!!

<3 Nic 😛

P.S. Can’t wait for Big Brother tonight! LOL

Nicole Thorneberry
Executive Asst.
Smith, Smith & Partners, LLC
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” -Marilyn Monroe <3

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Catie Warren

Catie struggles with adulthood and has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with PGP, Catie was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email:

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