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Hey there, guys. It’s me, the dude in the back of the room at the party doing everything in his power to avoid eye contact with anyone. You know, the one either nervously holding a drink or scrolling through his phone. Yeah, I see you waving at me. No, I don’t want to come over and join you on the dance floor. I’m good right here.
Look, I know at times I’ve come across as kind of a dick, and in some cases my utter disdain for you more extroverted folks has leaked through, but I want to tell you a deep truth from the bottom of my heart: I love you guys.
We’re supposed to be natural enemies, introverts and extroverts. Like Englishmen and Scots. Or Welshmen and Scots. But, unlike Japanese and Scots, I find our relationship to be more symbiotic. Like a great white shark, you power through the waters going anywhere, doing whatever you want, and eating whatever fish you see. On the other hand, I am a remora clinging to your underbelly, content to float along without expending energy and cleaning the gunk off your underbelly. As much as you irritate and vex me at times, I must admit that without you life would be terrible. And I hope you feel the same.
Whenever a party isn’t lively enough, we can always count on you to grab the center of attention with a hilarious yarn or some kickass dance moves. Or at least you won’t care when we laugh at your stupidity or terrible little kicks.
If we’re at home alone on a Friday but feel a bit of extra energy and want to be social, you’re the one we call. Whereas we thrive on keeping our nights open for time alone to decompress, you always seem to know about some party or gathering. And God bless you’ll never turn us away, no matter how flimsy our friendship might be. After all, the more the merrier you always chortle to our confusion.
Need a partner for a school project, or someone to eat lunch with? You’re always there and available, ready to make room at the table for one more. Heck, you might even wave over some poor soul you see eating his sad sandwich alone. It’s not just because you have a kind heart. You genuinely like other people and appreciate having them around you.
While we might roll our eyes at your peppy attitudes and internally wish that we could have one less person ask us how our day is going, deep down we do appreciate it. It’s nice to get a bit of socializing in, especially when we don’t have to put in the effort or feel the awkwardness of starting a conversation.
Most of all, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being the one to take the reins and speak up during a group meeting or lecture. A lot of us were wondering whether this reformatting policy was going to affect our reports retroactively, but only you had the stones to pipe up and ask. Hell, you didn’t even have a moment’s hesitation at letting others hear the sound of your voice. And whenever someone needs a volunteer from the audience, or there’s a hanging question posed to the group, you’re never shy about taking the spotlight. Where we introverts shrink away from the center of attention, you thrive on it. You live for it. You yearn for it.
Sincerely, know that I love you extroverts. I can’t speak for all introverts, but I’m willing to wager most of them feel the same. You guys are the best. While we are the great writers of songs, you’re the ones getting the Grammys for singing along with autotune. You’re the loud, blowhard politician shouting all the talking points we meticulously laid out for you. We may love our operating behind the scenes, but we know it would be all for naught if not for your incredible ability to execute with such flair and poise. You complete us, for a world of only introverts would likely fail to adequately repopulate the planet within a generation or two.
Please remember these words the next time I seem snarky or grumpy when you come over “just to chat.” It’s not you, it’s me and my intense desire to not be bothered. I appreciate that there’s someone out there who wants to talk even when I don’t. So don’t stop bothering me, because I’m really not that bothered at all. Except when we’re both at the urinal. Have some boundaries, please..
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@joshetyler
@joshetyler
The loudest person in the room has the least amount to say. People forget that.
God this needs to be a poster for PG office life. Thoroughly enjoy meetings and collaborating with different personalities, but if you’re talking to talk: Shut. The. Fuck. Up. You’re not bringing any creative direction to the project, you’re wasting time because you don’t enjoy doing any work whatsoever.
We appreciate your appreciation, but we do not feel the same.
Scots and Englishmen, welshmen and Englishmen, any Europeans and Englishmen
*source = Englishman
Englishman starting to look like it’s spelt wrong.
You seem to have missed the Simpsons reference.
“Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland” – Groundskeeper Willie
Not a clue
Have to take a Myer Briggs Type Indicator workshop for work last week. Introvert or extrovert I highly recommend it.
The MBTI is a test whose validity and reliability is primarily based off research from… the Myers Briggs institute. It’s a pretty bad test that uses Barnum statements as if they’re pieces of insightful information. The only thing they really accomplish is that everyone in the office makes jokes about “that’s such an ENFJ thing to do” for a week or so.
The problem unfortunately, is that it’s so ingrained in the HR field that people keep administering it because the alternative is losing the money they put into getting certified in a junk test.
A better personality test that has actual validity and reliability from non-biased sources are ones that are based off of the Big 5/OCEAN theories of personality.
Sorry, I just really, really dislike that test.
The Enneagram of Personality is also super interesting and pretty accurate for everyone I know who has taken the test.
Jesus Christ, talk about a waste of time when you have stuff to do.
Never say no to a dance floor
I don’t think we’re “supposed” to be natural enemies; we just don’t understand each other. I don’t appreciate most of the same things about extroverts as Josh does, but I have definitely come to realize that I’d rather be friends with and date extroverts than introverts, AND it’s easier for me to do both of those things than to date/be friends with fellow introverts. And there are different types of extroverts, as there are different types of introverts. People try to boil both down to one personality type each, but it’s just not the case. The extroverts in my family are pretty much all the kind of extroverts I want nothing to do with. Certain types of extroverts just get on my nerves 24/7, but not all of them are like that.
While I can’t stand loud, obnoxious people in public, I secretly admire their lack of self-consciousness