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For the record, I’m not a complete loser. I’m in four group texts, so it’s safe to say I’m pretty fucking popular tbh. I moved to Nashville not really knowing anyone three years ago and left all my friends I had ever known in my home state of Alabama. I made friends in my new town through my roommates, and times were good. Beer was drank, late night food was devoured, and terrible decisions were made. However, I made the mistake of not diversifying my friend portfolio, and now I’m paying for it.
Almost all of the friends I’ve made here in Nashville are doing different things with their lives now. Getting married, having kids, moving in with serious girlfriends, or just doing too much heroin for my personal preference. I support all of them moving on and doing different things with their lives, especially the heroin. We all still hang out of course, but you’re not exactly going to go out and crush it at the bars with a married guy who has a kid on the way.
This brings me to my current predicament. I need some new fucking friends.
Currently it’s me, my friend we’ll call James (Dude looks just like James Corden. It’s unreal), and another one of our friends we’ll call Emily. That’s the three single amigos left in our crew. You need more than that to go out on the town and have a good time. More importantly, my friend James is a terrible wingman, and that’s bad news for me. Going up to talk to girls solo is one of the most challenging feats known to man. 9/10 times you’re failing because it looks like you’re a loser with no friends, which I am so that opinion checks out.
The problem is I’m not too sure how to go about making new friends. The majority of the people I work with are women, and while we’ve become friends, heading out as the solo guy in a group of girls is not the best look when done continuously. Do I join a Nashville sports rec league like kickball? I would say this is the move, but I don’t think me doing anything that requires a shred of athletic ability around new people is going to be a good look. Maybe hold a sign up on the side of the road that says, “Wanted: Friendship for guy whose friends have become lame.” I’m open to any and all suggestions from you.
I’m one hundo p convinced that making friends is infinitely harder than attempting to date someone. In dating, your intentions are fully on the table. You meet someone of the opposite sex – or the same sex it’s 2017 – and you strike up a conversation and eventually ask for their number. There’s an understood progression for how things should go with pursuing someone you’re interested in dating. This does not exist for making new friends, which can make navigating those waters extremely difficult, and awkward.
You can’t really walk up to a guy you want to be friends with and say “Hey, man, you seem pretty cool. Can I get your number and maybe we start hanging out on a regular basis?” And then there’s the awkwardness of trying to insert yourself into an already established friend group. Carving out a place for yourself in a group of friends that have known each other forever is not an easy feat. I could go on and on about the awkwardness of it all.
After having this problem for the past 6 months or so, and not taking any action to really do anything about it, I’ve decided it’s time to sack up and put myself out there. I have no clue how I’m going to make new friends, or even if I’ll even be able to succeed, but by God I’m going to make the effort. Maybe I’ll fail and get some kick ass lonely guy hobbies like making pottery, or get really into some Claymation skits and upload them to my YouTube channel that will have 3 bots and my mom following it. The possibilities are endless, and you can read all about them here because I love putting embarrassing shit on the internet where it’s permanent.
I’m going to make finding new friends a priority in the coming months and see how much awkwardness I can stand until I have a mental breakdown.
You’re probably asking yourself the following question after reading this: “Dude, why are you blogging about being a huge loser and not having any friends?” The answer is simple – Do it for the content..
Image Via: Nik MacMillan
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I hear ya, making friends after college is insanely difficult. Best of luck out there.
Oh and I hope you’ve banged Emily by now, or at least plan to.
Why else would he be friends with her? He’s clearly not planning on banging her friends, so the plans gotta be to put P in V with her (even if he doesn’t know it).
After a certain point, it’s actually easier to make a new person than to make a new friend.
Username checks out
In my experience, your ability to play flip cup is about a million times more important to your kickball team than your ability to play on the field beforehand.
I’m new to Nashville as well and you’ll never find new friends down on Broadway but I always find a way to end up on the rooftop bars of Acme or Tootsies overpaying for drinks and blacking out like college. Rough cycle on the wallet and the anxiety levels. Let’s be pals!
Also in Nashville. Friendly sup to you and the writer
In Nashville too. Let’s be friends. Am I doing this right?
Nashville resident as well. Created an account so I could hop on this friend train
Also just moved to Nashville. Sups all around
Recent Nashville transplant checking in
New Nashville resident here. Also just created an account so I don’t miss out on all the fun. Sup?
Just noticed this thread is 3 weeks old but just saw on twitter. Moving to Nashville in a couple weeks trying to get a head start on the friend train
What it do?
PGP Trivia team?
Edley’s or Neighbors has Trivia in Sylvan Park on Tuesday’s or Wednesday’s. I would not be opposed.
Make it Wednesday and I am in
Love this. Also in Nashville and also in for Trivia night – gotta diversify the friend group. Let’s just dm Walton and let him set it up.
Tight
I like where your head’s at
Another Nashville resident here (in my 7th year). Happy to show y’all around and generally support new friend groups.
ALL my friends here in DC are couples. I’m lucky to be equal friends with all parties that make up these couples, but I’d like single friends who won’t think twice about taking a random weekend trip on a Friday morning, will go to a show with me during the week or will go out with and not be the X wheel.
Last night I went to see one of my favorite Texas Country bands solo because my friend bailed. I ended up spotting another girl there alone and introduced myself. Turns out she lives like a mile away from me and has been to all the same shows I’ve been to this year and usually solo. Now we have plans to go to some upcoming shows together. I wouldn’t consider us friends at all since we’ve only met once but she is the first person in over a year I have met “in the wild” and made plans to hangout with. Making friends as an adult sucks.
**TL;DR Anyone in DC looking to meet new people a few of the DC PGPers will be at Bardo Beer garden today at 5pm for Happy Hour. We are normal I promise and would love for more people to join us.**
All social media is @MissMerrrr if you have questions. Pints are $3 today fyi
Ah man, no way I can make it today. Do y’all do this regularly on a set frequency (monthly?), or do you coordinate on Twitter/Reddit or whatever?
We coordinate on twitter/text usually. No set schedule but we can for sure organize something for the weekend or another happy hour soon.
I lived in DC during grad school and saw as much live music as I could fit in. Got VERY tired of people saying, “Oh, I wanna go” and then not turning up. I just got used to being happy seeing shows alone. Then again, you can’t talk during most shows, so it’s kind of a waste anyway.
go to concerts, attend riots in the streets, become James Franco in Pineapple Express and befriend your customers, hang out in coffee shops and write screen plays….friends come out of nowhere. Just this past weekend, i was at the anti-nazi rally in Boston photographing everything and I was wearing SLEEP the band’s t-shirts and 5 different people came up to me to acknowledge my t-shirt and then we all grabbed drinks after and it was fun….life is weird so you have to be weird too
It blows my mind that it’s 2017 and this is a real weekend event.
This hit home. The fiance and I have really struggled to make friends outside our solid 2-3 person friend group that moved back to Houston after college. Part of me enjoys it because I never have to think of excuses to not go out but sometimes I want to share in the joy of margs at El Tiempo with friends.
Margs at El Tiempo are the best. Living right next to the one on Washington is a blessing and curse. Currently prepping for a potential hurricane party this weekend!
this weekend will be my first hurricane experience…def looking forward to the hurricane parties but not so much the flooding haha
Yeah, the flooding in Houston is awful. I just spent my whole grocery budget on beer because I don’t want to run out if I’m stranded. #PGP
There’s never not a good time to bond of an El Tiempo marg. See ya there
over, not of. nevermind, don’t be friends with me.
El tiempo…sup?
Girlfriend and I just moved to Houston and had our first El Tiempo experience last weekend. Needless to say our best friend in HTX at this point is the waiter who kept the margs and fajitas flowing. We’d love to meet up with any of the H-Town PGPers!
I’d be friends with you if you didn’t like Seinfeld
Failing to diversify your friend portfolio is a tragedy. You just can’t time that market.
But the rec league could be legit – hope you give it a try. Best of luck!
Gotta dollar cost average that shit, don’t try and time the market
This really hits close to home. I’m recently divorced and after being in the “couples group” for so many years I’m finding myself having to start over. It’s too awkward to go back to the group you used to spend every weekend with while you were with your ex but I’m really not sure how to meet people either. I considered a gym or the crossfit cult but then remembered I don’t like working out… Hang in there, you aren’t alone.
Ouch, best of luck. Getting divorced has to be a major PITA.
This will be a great weekly column