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I have never met a breakfast food that I didn’t like. From waffles and omelets to grits and cereal to fresh smoked salmon and avocado toast, I am 100% in on all things breakfast. Naturally this love also extends further to brunch, a cause I support like a good Millennial should. Give me some eggs benedict and bottomless mimosas any day of the week and I’ll be a happy girl. But there is one spot where I draw a hard line on the topic of breakfast: having breakfast for dinner. It’s weird, it makes me uncomfortable, and I refuse to participate in such barbaric behavior.
Commonly known as brinner, the habit of making your evening meal one that consists of foods meant to be eaten in the morning is just not something I can get behind. And I’d love to give you a good reason for this opinion like some traumatic 7 p.m. pancake mishap that tainted me on enjoying these things at night time, but I don’t. Are there really people out there who actively have the urge to eat breakfast at any hour of the day? I mean who aren’t under the age of 10? Because I am not one of those people.
I never crave eggs, bacon, or sausage after the appropriate hours of brunch have passed. I don’t long for French toast when the 3 o’clock mid-afternoon snack cravings hit and all I can focus on is my excitement for dinner. I have never gone out of my way to find a savory quiche to satisfy the rumblings of my stomach that occur between 6 and 8 p.m. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I don’t see what’s so wrong about eating these foods at the times they are originally intended for.
Sure, you can obviously take individual parts of the breakfast category and transition them into dinner and lunch options such as throwing an egg on a burger, bacon in a pasta dish or having a bagel sandwich. I’m also cool with moving parts of things the other way. Have your steak and eggs or fried chicken and waffles right away when you start your day. Pieces of a whole do not a problem make.
My issue is with a complete meal being solely comprised of the foods that appear on every hotel continental breakfast buffet across the country. Ever wonder why restaurants restrict the hours they serve breakfast and brunch? To keep you heathens from tainting the sanctity of dinner by ordering 2 eggs sunny-side up, a side of hash browns, 3 pieces of wheat toast (no butter), and maybe a pancake when you should be enjoying a glass of wine that pairs perfectly with the chef’s seasonal special.
Yes, there are wonderful establishments that have made the choice to serve breakfast 24 hours a day. I’m not knocking the Waffle Houses and IHOPs of the world mainly because I do love breakfast during its intended time-frame, and they provide a much needed service after a night out at the bars. But at 4 a.m. when you settle into a sticky booth to smash some drunk food, that’s not dinner, my friends. You ate that before you chugged too many vodka Red Bulls. And if you didn’t get a base in, like an idiot, it still doesn’t count because it is now technically the morning and you have missed dinner completely.
Let’s stop acting like we have the palates of children by participating in this misuse of food. Keep your brinner invites to yourself and let breakfast resume its rightful place in the hours of the day that occur after midnight and before 2 p.m..