Afternoon Xanax Thoughts


This afternoon, we gather here to chill, relax, mentally clock out, power down, take her easy and look forward to a weekend of not working.

Sup. Just took a chill pill. Before you freak out, I’m prescribed. Not like “middle-aged housewife who needs Xanax to tolerate life and has a shady doctor” prescribed. More like “late-twenties dude who’s been suffering from panic disorder for a shade under a decade” prescribed. I’m not some pill-popping animal that gets barred out, forgets who he is and breaks into houses. That’s not how Bill rolls.

That being said, I was feeling a little tense this afternoon, so now I have some Alprazolam doing its dance in my tum-tum, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to share the relaxing vibes with my internet family. You know, people helping people.

First off, everything is going to be okay. If you don’t believe me, just watch this video of the Kuroshio Sea within Ocean Expo Park in Okinawa, Japan.

That soothing song you just took in through the ears is “Please Don’t Go” by Barcelona, and the video was made by Jon Rawlinson, who I assume is extremely chill. Tell me all your worries didn’t float away watching those beautiful sea beasts majestically swimming through that 1,981,290 gallon tank. I don’t believe you. I’m so relaxed I could fall asleep sitting up like your grandpa after Thanksgiving dinner. Might as well already be sprawled out on my couch, New Weekender Sweats from Outdoor Voices (the most comfortable pants ever made, shout out to Will “The Sock” deFries) on, Topo Chicho in hand, just enjoying the fuck out of nothing and everything at the same time.

Time to follow that up with a little Imogen Heap and really get in the zone.

No idea what the hell that video is about, but I do know life is beautiful and you’re capable of accomplishing anything you put your mind to. You are one with the universe. You are one with the universe. You are one with the universe.

What do you have going on this weekend? Big plans, or are you just gonna take her easy? Let us know in the comments section below. Either way, I hope it’s a good one.

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles: Game of Thrones podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover sports podcast, 2017 Masters attendee, bigger and more loyal Rockets, Astros and Texans fan than you, cheese enchilada aficionado, and nap god.

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