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So you’ve begun your “career” and the only thing you have time for is work, Netflix, and two nights of binge drinking a week. Occasionally, you might be able to fit some sort of exercise into your daily routine, but not enough to actually do anything other than maintain your current state of college/postgrad fitness limbo. One question that postgrads dread to answer when engaging in conversation with older coworker or new friend is “What do you like to do on your free time?”
I mean seriously, you want to answer the question, but when you really think about it, you don’t do anything except drink and be pathetic outside of work. Answers like “go to the gym” or “travel” don’t count because you don’t go to the gym, and your traveling consists of weekend road trips to see old friends, because you’re too poor to go anywhere exotic/outside of your current state’s borders. And you can’t just tell your coworkers that you like to drink every weekend. With many coworkers being older than you, certain hobbies are best kept to yourself, and others should be broadcast to your entire office.
Unacceptable
Drinking
Sure you can tell your coworkers that you like to have a drink every now and then, but calling this one of your hobbies is unacceptable. Even though this is 95% of postgrads’ only hobby, this is one you should not admit to. If you want to move the conversation towards “wine tasting” or “home brewing” to make it seem like you’re not an alcoholic, that’s fine. Whatever you do, don’t answer with drinking when asked what you like to do.
Online dating
What is your name? Where are you from? What do you do? These were questions you asked in college that you could forget about after you slept with the person who answered them. Unfortunately, in postgrad life you actually have to remember the answer and put in more work. More work means more time, so you might be spending hours a night trying to find that special someone on Match.com, or that fine piece of ass on Tinder. Either way, this is not an acceptable hobby to talk about. If this is how you want to find companionship, that’s great, but you should not talk about this at work. Older coworkers will automatically think you are some kind of desperate loser or an internet predator.
EDM concerts
These concerts may have been acceptable when you were in college, but going to EDM concerts in the postgrad life is not an acceptable hobby to talk about. Many negative connotations will be linked to your appearance, morals, and self-values. Not only will you have to explain how the “music” you listen to is music, but also your coworkers will automatically think you do way to many drugs, creep on underage girls, and won’t trust you with anything. If you are looking to phase out of this hobby, just watch the videos on YouTube. You hear and see the same thing, and you get to miss out on the long lines, crowded seating, and those random people always pushing you because they’re trying to get to the front when there’s no possible way.
CrossFit
Please don’t be that person that always talks about CrossFit. This is a group of people that likes to yell, thinks they’re better than people that go to a normal gym, and want to be the best at exercising for some odd reason, when they are the ones getting played for over $150 dollars a month at their box. You can’t drink with friends during it, you can’t have conversations during it, and telling older coworkers that you’re wearing out every joint in your body as a hobby will just not go over well, because they have probably had hip replacements, and every other condition due to the wear and tear that goes along with sitting in an ergonomic chair for nine hours at a time. Most people won’t know what CrossFit is, and you telling them will only confuse them.
Video Games
Deep down inside everyone loves playing Grand Theft Auto, Call of Duty, and any game that involves killing zombies. However if you tell older coworkers this is your hobby, they will always bring up the topic how kids these days have to many electronics and sit around all day, and need to be doing normal things like riding a bike. You don’t want to argue them on this topic. It is okay to indulge in these video games, just make sure you don’t tell your coworkers how many hours you actually spend on these machines after work instead of being a productive member of society. You’ll come off as a huge nerd.
Acceptable
Marathon/Triathalon/Iron Man Training
This is a very acceptable hobby and most likely your coworkers will think more of you. Sure, you haven’t ran 26 miles, biked 110, and swam two miles in your entire life combined, but the key word here is “training.” Your coworkers will think you’re badass and a force to be reckoned with. Who is going to tell the guy that can do all of this to get his TPS reports in on time? I sure wouldn’t.
Skiing/Snowboarding
Everyone loves a good mountain sport. Older coworkers used to love doing this sport before they put on a few pounds and blew out their knees. But when two skiers or snowboarders start a conversation about this hobby, it will bring up great conversation about which mountains you have been to, and will usually end with “we should go sometime.” Don’t be frightened, you will never actually have to go together.
Golf
It’s pretty much a guarantee that at least half of the people in your office play golf. This should always be your default if you actually golf. However, it comes with a price. You will be bombarded with questions about your handicap, your driving distance, your short game, your clubs, which courses you’ve played, and on and on and on. Always tell them your highest score is your average. Unlike skiing, you will most likely hit the links with them someday, and on that day if you are not shooting what you said you were, you can always just say, “I’m off today.” Saying you like to play golf is a fancy way of saying you like to get drunk outside and drive around in a little motorized cart.
Rec. League sports
This is also acceptable, but unfortunately when you have a hobby like this, it is a hit or miss. I say this because you will most likely be put up with a team with a bunch of randoms from your community. No one will ever make it to practice, you have the people that are way too serious as if they were still playing backup tight end on their varsity football team. Your coworkers will still be impressed that you do something outside of work.
Respond
Short changed again
I broke out in college, now I'm trying to break back in. I'm your normal college grad that has the term "consultant" in his title. Therefore none of my friends, family, coworkers, and even myself know exactly what I do.
@PGPshortchanged