======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
He jerked his head back, reflexively, and squinted in surprise when he saw her name displayed on his phone’s home screen. It was Friday night, just after 11 p.m., and he was shocked that she was texting him. After all, as she had reminded him earlier that day, tonight was girls night.
In the two weeks since their official second date, they had spent almost every weekend night together. She came over to his place where they watched all three Back to the Future movies in a row, drinking every time Doc Brown uttered his trademark “Great Scott!” He went over to her place where she cooked him some vegan dish and he pretended it didn’t make him want to vomit like he was that girl from The Exorcist. She played the guitar for him. He drew him and her in a cutesy anime style. She forced him to read Hemingway. He forced her to read Cormac McCarthy. None of it felt like a chore. It was all easy.
So when she mentioned that she couldn’t hang out with him tonight, because her friend Danielle had just gotten a promotion and she was going out to celebrate, he was a bit sad. Sure, he was never one to turn down a night in to himself. In fact, spending the whole evening listening to Stevie Nix as he tried (unsuccessfully) to get his League of Legends account into Platinum would have been a borderline perfect evening for him a month ago. But it wasn’t a month ago, and his antisocial delights weren’t quite as appealing as they used to be. Which was why he was not at all unhappy, though he was surprised, to see she had texted him.
“Heeeey, I miss you.”
He pondered his response for a moment before replying. “Isn’t that sort of thing frowned upon during a girls night?”
“Ugh it would have been except Bethy brought a Tinder date which made Chelsea freak out because she feels like she’s the only one who doesn’t have a guy in her life, so she immediately goes and finds this gross rando to make out with in the corner. Now Bethany and Tinder dude are aggressively making out to get back at Chelsea, Danielle is demanding we do shots as the two non-single ladies, and I’m wishing I had just stayed in with you.”
Although she couldn’t text in italics, he added the emphasis in his head as he almost heard her saying it in her unique dramatic cadence.
There was a lot to unpack in one text, so he took his time. He wasn’t sure why Bethany would bring a Tinder date to girls night. Well, that wasn’t true; Bethany loved attention and drama, and had a habit of not thinking her plans through. So he was fairly sure she thought bringing a Tinder date might liven the night up. He wasn’t sure why Chelsea had freaked out, but he didn’t know her other than by reputation, and it wasn’t helping her stock that she chose to make out with “gross randos” when she felt lonely. Finally, he had no clue why Chelsea’s actions would cause Bethany to think that she needed to retaliate, and the best way to do so was making out with her date aggressively in front of her. It was a lot of information, but he had gleaned only one piece of information that he knew for sure: she and her friends were drunk.
Before he could even delve into a response, she texted him again. “Oh now Danielle is saying that her fiancee Travis is coming to join us since ‘girls night has been invaded by dicks.’”
He wasn’t sure how he wanted to respond. On the one hand, here he was with a nice, relaxing evening before him without any issues or complications. He really didn’t want to put on real pants and a nice shirt and go out when he was now so comfortable. On the other hand, he’d never seen her drunk like this since college.
“So, what does that mean? Do you want me to come out too so you’re not the only one without a guy?”
Her response was nearly instant. “Yes.”
***
Twenty minutes later, he stumbled out of the Uber onto U Street. The three shots of Svedka he’d thrown back in machine-gun fashion while he was waiting for his ride to pick him up were just starting to hit him. Perfect. He didn’t want to be the soberest person there, even though he was fairly confident there were Irish fraternity brothers somewhere who were more sober than the girls he was about to see.
After flashing his ID to the doorman, he stepped into the dark bar. His ears were assaulted by some techno song that made him physically squirm as he made his way through the throngs of people. Like an eel he slithered past grinding bodies until he made it to the bar in the back. He hadn’t seen any familiar faces, although in his defense he only knew two people there.
As he sipped the Lagunitas he’d ordered, he surveyed the bar. Once he got his card back, he began to maneuver around the perimeter of the crowd, like a Civil War general surveying the battle. He passed through a narrow hallway to a second dance area, but still didn’t see his gal. Then he heard the squeal.
“Ohmygodohmygod hiiiiii!”
Bethany was slurring and spilling the whiskey ginger she’d just picked up from the bar as she ambled over to him and wrapped him up in a big hug. He attempted to not be awkward as he returned a greeting that one might give to a long-lost relative that was offered by an acquantaince.
“How are you? God, how long has it been? Two years?” She laughed at her own joke, even though he knew deeply that she wished she was just out of college and able to justify her outrageous behavior. He smiled and agreed, laughing as he did so.
“Uh, where is–”
“Oh,” Bethany waved her hand flippantly, “she is taking care of our friend Chelsea who was being a total brat tonight.”
“Did she leave?” he asked, praying the answer was yes so he could get away from this girl and be around more enjoyable company.
“They’re upstairs I think. It’s been a while, so I’d guess they’ll be back soon. Anywaaaaaay,” she punctuated this over-emphasized word with a sip of her drink, half of which was likely on the floor already. “What is going on with you two? I mean, you finally got the gonads to pull the trigger on her, what’s your next move player?”
“Next move?” he asked blankly.
“Well duuuuuh, I mean, this girl is just getting over her long-term serious jackass of a boyfriend. And she is not the type who is down for a casual fling. Or,” she sipped her drink again. “To be strung along.”
“I’m not stringing her along.”
“Oh I know you’re not trying to string her along. But if you keep being a pussy like you were in college, you’re going to let her down. She’s never going to admit it, but part of the reason she and Kenny fell apart was that she kept having to advance everything. He never wanted to make the relationship any more serious. He just went along with the ride. Now, it’s five years later and she’s alone and hurt. So if you keep being a passive pussy and just never try to put in any effort–”
He wanted to cut her off, both to reassure her of his intentions and stop her from calling him a pussy, but she was interrupted as a short blonde girl with an hourglass figure barreled into her. Instead of just going past, the blonde latched onto Bethany and the two locked each other into a hug, rocking back and forth as they spilled their drinks. After a few moments, Bethany turned back to him and introduced their friend Danielle.
“Oh, so you’re the mysterious boy I’ve heard so much about,” Danielle said after Bethany excused herself to go find her missing Tinder date.
“Only good things, I hope. If not, then no that’s clearly someone else she’s seeing.”
Danielle laughed at his joke, for an uncomfortably long time. When she finished, she grabbed his arm and pulled him in.
“Listen, don’t listen to Bethany. Everything I’ve heard about you is stellar and you seem really sweet. Just be a good guy to her, okay? She’s my best friend and she deserves someone great.”
“I agree,” he said seriously.
“Just…if your heart’s not in it, or you’re not all there for her, bail out now. She has a hard time letting go of people who are bad for her when she cares. And I can see that she’s starting to care.”
“You think I’m bad for her?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “But watching her go through the aftermath of her breakup with Kenny was brutal. Now, just a few weeks later she meets this other guy from college, same circle. If you and Kenny are like in cahoots or whatever, if this is just some basic desire to relive glory days–”
“It’s not,” he said putting his hand on her shoulder. “I swear, I only have good intentions here.”
“You better.”
After a few more minutes, he and Danielle ordered another round and brought the conversation back around to the night’s drama. Her fiancee, a tall muscular guy who looked like he rowed crew at an Ivy League school, arrived a few seconds later. She had a drink waiting for him, and he looked slightly bored to be there as he kissed Danielle hello. Travis even misheard him as he introduced himself, and called him “Mike” for the remainder of their conversation. Danielle and Travis ambled off after only a few minutes, and Bethany then returned with the two missing girls from the pack. Two mysterious men who didn’t bother to introduce themselves, but he assumed were the Tinder date and rando, trailed behind them.
“We have to go,” his redheaded partner in crime said after kissing him. “Chels threw up in the bathroom and they’re kicking her out.”
“Okay,” he said. “Do we want to go somewhere else or…”
“Yes!” Bethany squealed as she pulled in her man for the night. “Justin says that his friends are at Black Cat and it would be sooooooo much fun to dance.”
He looked at his girl’s emerald eyes, even though they were dark spots in this lighting. She seemed to be pleading with him not to make her go to another bar.
“Uh yeah that sounds good,” he gestured to his beer, which was only half drank. “You guys want to go ahead and we’ll meet you?”
Bethany and Justin didn’t even hesitate to say their goodbyes and leave. As he quickened his drinking, the bouncers began to move towards them. Chelsea had clearly overstayed her welcome.
“Come on babe,” random guy she’d met at the bar said with way too much panache. “Let’s go.”
His girl slipped up next to him and whispered in his ear, “please help me get her out of here and away from this creeper.”
It would be easier said than done, as Chelsea had stuck her tongue down the guy’s throat as soon as he finished speaking. But he had an idea.
“Hey dude, can you go find the other two members of our party? I’ll get them outside. Thanks!”
Before the rando could protest, or ask how he was supposed to find two people that he had met for the first time that night, and whose names he did not remember, he was ushering his girl and her friend towards the front door.
***
She opened her door after the third failed attempt to put the key into the lock. Giggling, she pulled him in after her into her apartment. Making out and pulling each other’s clothes off as they walked, they finally fell onto the bed together.
They rolled off the bed with a thud, lying there for several moments before groaning. Drunk sex was not to be had on this night, he knew. So he climbed off of her bed, and slowly picked her up and got her onto the bed.
After some brief navigating, he had her all tucked in. He kissed her cheek and began to walk away, but she reached out and grabbed his hand.
“Stay,” she rasped.
“Okay,” he whispered.
So he pulled off his clothes, folded them neatly on her dresser, and climbed into bed next to her. No sooner had he laid his head down than she reached over and wrapped her arms around him.
It seemed as though she fell asleep immediately, but had a hard time drifting off himself. It was his first time staying in her bed, which was much softer than his. After a while, though, she began to stir. He was growing tired, so he wasn’t quite sure if he’d heard her correctly. But he could swear that he heard her say “I love you.” He smiled as he drifted off to sleep, not hearing her mutter one more word a few minutes later: “Kenny.” .
Respond
@joshetyler
@joshetyler
Not once have I ever had a girl I was romantically involved with go on a girls night out and not had her text/invite me eventually. There’s always one girl who inevitably pisses the group off and causes the chain reaction of female booty calls. It’s science
not related, but also a gigantic red flag that her friends are each bringing up an ex the first time meeting their “bestfriend’s” new guy. What type of trash people do that?
Super drunk ones do that
That last sentence was a real kick in the nuts.
Her friends suck, she is using him to get over Kenny and they are worried about his intentions.
This is going into a shitshow and it’s beautiful.
Going to turn into a shitshow.* An edit button would’ve been clutch here.
Your ending hurt my feelings.
This is what the Spaniards refer to as “no bueno.”
this had me depressed about my single life this morning, until that last paragraph lol
This whole night seems like it should be red flag city
True that
I have been waiting for this for days… Screw you for that ending.
If Chelsea and Bethany are both still single toss them sups for me.