A Few Words About Your 2017 Goals…

A Few Words About Your 2017 Goals...

I think it is safe to say that we, the entire world, are ready to move past 2016 and try our very best at forgetting it ever happened, like your last coworker hookup. It’s for the best if we can put that to the side and just remain distant, awkward friends.

With 2017 around the corner, we set the bar high with hope and expectations, both external and internal. We want to be money smart or physically fit so we don’t feel awkward posting beach pics in July, and so on. Well, I’m here to ruin your New Year’s Resolution hopes and dreams. The world isn’t perfect and neither are you.

I Want To Be Fit

We all want to look good, whether you’re single or in a relationship or married. For some, you want that chick to sit up in her beach chair and slowly lower her sunglasses as you throw the football like some shitty movie cliché. For others, you just want to feel healthy and confident. You don’t want to feel guilty after your gameday shotgun or pizza and wine night. So, January 2nd, you ordered a clean eating book on Amazon, joined a gym, and read a bunch of articles about health on the internet. New year, new you! Except, it’ll never happen. The book will collect dust after a month, and you’ll phase out of the gym as soon as you realize how much of a time commitment it is along with your other resolutions.

I Want To Be Financially Smart

Just because the last number of the year changed doesn’t mean you’re less inclined to buy late night Whataburger after an expensive night at the bar. December 31st you is the same as January 1st you. It’s hard to say you are going to save a third of your paycheck in 2017 when you can’t even save $10 at any given time. Hell, you already blew through your Christmas bonus and you literally just got it. Good luck with that plan.

I Want To Read More

42% of college graduates never pick up a book after college (shout out to That’s actually a really depressing statistic, but I can believe it. Why read a boring, picture-less book when you can watch Netflix, shoot off a fire emoji tweet, or get lost trying to scroll to the very bottom of a PGP article? I personally read 6 non-fiction books in various subjects for “fun” (#humblebrag) this year, and I’ll be the first to say it was an absolutely miserable experience. The odds are you’ll buy a book and it will sit right next to your clean eating book on the shelf, never getting read past the second chapter.

Now that I just destroyed your 2017, I’ll actually throw out some advice. You can actually complete your resolutions if you don’t hold yourself to that bullshit “let’s start everything right now” method. Start a schedule and stagger the times when you begin a goal. So, starting in January, you are committed to being financially smart. You don’t go out as often, you eat in, you set aside money for investments or savings. You focus all your energy on that. Then, in the second quarter, you join a gym. You’ve made being money conscious a habit by this point and now you’re adding a new hopeful habit. You are putting your effort into being fit or whatever your goal is. Then, in the 3rd quarter of the year, you pick up a book. I’d recommend something that isn’t 700 pages of 8 point font. Something smaller, less than 300 pages, in a subject that interests you. You read at least 15 pages every day. By this point, you’ve made financial awareness and health a habit. By the end of the year, you’ve made your resolutions all habits without swamping your lifestyle all at once.

You can say this article is your typical self-help article, but I’m really just tired of people complaining about their generic resolutions. You complaining about your failed goals doesn’t make my February birthday any more fun.

Image via Shutterstock

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