A Cost-Benefit Analysis Of Taco Bell’s $600 Wedding Package

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Thinking about financing a wedding is enough to make any commitment-prone individual consider setting free a long-term relationship for solo nights of dinners for one and swiping. However, Taco Bell is looking to combat that five-digit wedding charge and help you tie the knot for only $600, which compared to the average wedding cost of over $35,000 is absolutely a steal. Of course, you can still probably get married at the courthouse for less, so to help sway you, Taco Bell will help you pick between steak or chicken for your 12 count of tacos, and together, you can cut a Cinnabon Delights cake. In the vein of adhering to tradition, you’ll also get a hot sauce bouquet and a branded garter, bow tie, and shirts showing off your new relationship status.

While this does seem like a great social media stunt, any couple seriously considering matrimony might be asking themselves, “Wait…is this package actually worth it?” For $600, it’s certainly worth considering; but of course, you’ll have to factor in all of the hidden costs. For your benefit, I threw together a quick cost-benefit analysis so you can make the financially savvy decision to figure out whether or not this wedding package is the right one for you.

Costs:

Cost of wedding: $600
Trip to Vegas and gambling losses: at least $10,000
Potentially getting cut of of Grandma’s will: up to 6 figures
Wedding night fun and relaxation (let’s be honest, those tacos aren’t doing you any favors): your dignity, and the loss of love of your new spouse
Divorce settlement: around $15,000
Pride: Priceless

Total: Minimum of $26,000 monetary value, not counting the net worth of your wealthiest, most conservative elderly relative.

Benefits:

Average wedding cost: $35,000
Time spent planning: equivalent of 8 months’ part-time pay
Great party story: at least one round of drinks at the bar
Potential to go viral: priceless

Total: Estimate of $50,000 monetary value and the potential to become an overnight Internet sensation.

As you can see, the result depends entirely upon the level of wealth of your nearest-to-death relative and the cost you place on your professional pride. If you work in banking, real estate development, law, or finance, I’d take a moment of caution before deciding to jump into a hot sauce-fueled Vegas ceremony, because those pictures floating around online won’t do wonders for your professional reputation. However, if you’re a broke degenerate working in media like us where Internet exposure for strange event coverage would actually be a benefit, I think it’s time to pack your bags, because a Vegas wedding seems in order – just make sure to shoot us an invite so we can exclusively cover the event..

[via Food and Wine]

Image via Shutterstock

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Steph W.

Steph W. is a new Master's degree graduate with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. Send her tips for getting out of student debt at recruitchairtsm@gmail.com

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