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Bar
It’s a first date, so this isn’t completely unheard of. There is no such thing as a sober first date. Rather, there shouldn’t be such a thing, I should say. A drinking establishment isn’t the worst place to go when you’re just starting to feel it out with someone. Less pressure, more reason to drink heavily and quickly. However, the type of bar your date chooses really says a lot. Is it located somewhere uppity in town, overcrowded with patrons of the douchey variety? Is it tucked away in a less explored part of the city, which makes it kind of intriguing, but also somewhat terrifying since you have no idea where you are and really who your date is? Is it a cool, up-and-coming bar with an awesome patio and a great beer selection? Regardless, when your first date is at a bar and you know enough about this guy to know he’s not totally terrible, he most likely is hoping the copious amounts of nervous drinking leads to late dinner or a sloppy first makeout sesh.
Museum
Bragging rights start here. Where is he taking me? To a museum. What does this mean? He’s cultured and worldly and maybe probably is trying to show off some, but that’s okay by you. It’s not a bar or restaurant or concert, which makes it different–and you like different. Who isn’t intrigued by different? But, be warned: if the new installation at the museum costs extra money to see and he either flat out refuses to pay or comes up with some sort of excuse as to why it’s probably not that great anyway, dude could be putting on a major front. Also, if he crop dusts you midway through your classy, highbrow museum visit, he’s just a basic bitch who’s trying to cover it up with talk of Picasso and Monet (that’s a real life example).
A Sporting Event
If you both have discussed your love for said sport, this is huge. The bond between sport and man is a sacred albeit rather annoying one. If the guy you’re choosing to entertain is a known fan of a particular sporting event and he invites you to join him at the next game, the least you can do is brush up on general, easily recited sporting facts to ensure maximum boner potential. If you hate sports and have publicized this to him yet he still invites you, take the compliment: he clearly still deems you worthy and fun enough to partake. In that case, don’t wear heels and don’t pout inwardly if he doesn’t fawn over you for the duration of the game. Just be cool, because he obviously thinks you’re cool enough to be there in the first place. Well, that or he had no one else to ask. But even then, he has to like you at least a little to want to spend time together out in public at a loud, engaging event, right? Right? SPORTS.
Outdoors
He’s a cutie. You want to go to the park with my dog and sit in the shade? Adorable. You want to bring our own cooler of good beer and people watch? I can’t even. You want to walk around the perimeter of the park and hold hands? I want to be in you. However, unless weather conditions that day are perfect, I will have mad anxiety for the first bit of our outing until I get some of those cooler beers in my belly. Why? Two words: natural lighting. But if we can get through this, then we can get through anything, because we will have indirectly accepted each other’s imperfections. Now, if this outdoor outing involves anything physical, besides making out and a leisurely stroll (i.e. “Let’s go rock climbing! Or paddle boating! Or biking!”) I’m going to go ahead and consider you a weirdo CrossFit dude who judges girls based off of their ability to keep up and run in the other direction. That’s the most athleticism you’ll get out of me that day, sir.
Dinner At His Place
He wants to bone, but he doesn’t want to pay for parking. That is, unless, you’ve been dating for a reasonable amount of time when he first invites you over. If an invite to “dine in” happens any time before he takes you out on a “real” date, the survey says he’s a combination of lazy, cheap, uninventive, assuming, expectant, introverted, secluded, lazy, or cheap. Save the home hangouts for a month or few in. Being in public at the beginning is the awkwardness that makes dating so terribly beautiful.
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Emma G
Emma is a female with a vagina and, subsequently, often writes things other vaginas (and sometimes weiners) find super relatable. She is a 20something who loves eating, buying clothes she doesn't need, and wearing lipstick. You can find 4+ years of her rantings on her blog: www.emmasthing.com
@emmasthing
@emmasthing
Museums? Are the fellas takin you out on dates using their AARP benefits?