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In honor of possibly the first bad weather ice day of the season for Dallas, I present to you a “how to” guide on maximizing a mother nature induced free day off work.
Afternoon Before
Everything about maximizing a potential bad weather day starts the work day before the storm pushes in. The first thing you need to do is go to your boss and ask him for permission to “work from home” the next day IF the weather looks like it might be bad. You know, for safety and stuff. If you’re good, you can even play this up to look like you are always planning ahead and looking towards the future. If you get the nod, you are in for a great time. If not, don’t fear, you just have to bank on the weather being as bad as everyone expects. If the front of the storm starts pushing in, slip out of the office an hour or two early, again, just so you stay safe and miss rush hour and whatever other BS you have to tell people on your way out. Then, on the drive home, stop by a liquor store and stock up on your booze of choice like your life depends on it. I’m not trying to hyperbolize or anything, but it does.
Night Before
Whether or not you are secured in working from home the next day, you need to drink like you won’t be working either way. Even if you’re wrong, you can make it through ONE day hungover, right? If the storm isn’t going to hit until the middle of the night, take advantage of your chance to drink on a week night like you are still in college. If the storm is already in full swing, don’t be an idiot – if you can’t walk to the bar, stay home and start working on those supplies you stocked up earlier. Alcohol + ice does not equal a fun drive home, even in a taxi.
Morning Of
If you already have permission to work from home, you can just skip this section, you shouldn’t be waking up till noon. If you didn’t, it is time to wake up and check the weather. Hopefully, God’s wrath on the city will make work get canceled for the day, and you can go back to bed. At the very least, you can probably use the weather as an excuse to roll in an hour or two late, so take advantage. Assuming work is canceled, it’s time to enjoy your day off.
Day Of
Here it is, a free day off of work. You don’t have to waste a vacation day, and you don’t have to call in pretending to be sick. One full day of doing whatever you want. Well, as long as whatever-you-want doesn’t involve leaving your house. The reason a bad weather day is better than a regular vacation day is that EVERYONE is off of work. You won’t be missing any important meetings at the office, because no one will be at the office. Maybe you have a conference call or a few emails to send, but other than that, everything else can be pushed off until the next time you go into the office. Enjoy yourself, free from the four walls of your cubicle and the eye of your boss, and do what any post grad with freedom does; drink and watch Netflix all day.
Hopefully you find this guide helpful in getting yourself ready for the bad weather days that are sure to come this season. Disclaimer: I am not liable for anyone showing up hungover when work doesn’t get canceled. Sometimes you gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Respond
FreshStart
Spend half my life on the road being worked to death, the other half in a cubicle being bored to death. You can find me on the weekends in Uptown
“Do what any post grad with freedom does; drink and watch Netflix all day.”
I appreciate the validation for my actions.
Unfortunately up in Minnesota, the roads have to be TERRIBLE to have the excuse of not getting to the office. There are 2 guarantees when bad weather strikes: 1. Everyone forgets how to drive in snow/ice, so there’s an irritating mix of grandmas driving 15 mph on the highway, and assholes with 4 wheel drive that still drive 10 mph over the speed limit. 2. The only things talked about in the office are: how long/shitty your commute was, road conditions, and whether or not we get more bad weather. Please shoot me now.
I’m with you, but in Texas, where people don’t have the equipment, procedures, or know-how to deal with ice/show, shit turns into straight up attica.