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- I’m going to be drinking tonight, and I don’t want to get too drunk.
- I won’t be drinking tonight, so I have room for extra calories.
- I have been drinking tonight, so fuck it. My ability to resist temptation went out the window with my morals.
- I’m feeling skinny. I don’t need to watch my weight.
- I’m feeling fat. What’s the point?
- It’s a special occasion. Of course I’m going to celebrate!
- It would be rude to order a salad when my friends are pigging out on burgers and cheese fries. I don’t want to make them feel guilty about their meal choices.
- I’m on my period.
- I’m PMSing.
- I’m post-MSing.
- Calories don’t count when you’re sad.
- I’ve been up late working, and I need some fuel.
- I’ve already eaten like shit today. No point in trying to salvage it now.
- I ate really well today. I can splurge.
- It’s Friday. I need to relax after a long work week.
- It’s Saturday. I need to really make the most of my weekend.
- It’s Sunday. I’m too hungover to think about dieting.
- The only thing that will get me through Monday is Chipotle.
- My friends are peer pressuring me to go for dessert with them.
- YOLO.
- I’ve never been to this restaurant before. I want to get something really great!
- My diet starts tomorrow. Tonight is the last supper. Better make it count.
- I just feel like it.
Extras:
24. I went to the gym so I can afford to eat whatever I want.
25. Tim is talking to his ex again. I’m depressed.
26. Tim and his ex are completely over, time to celebrate!
27. Tim didn’t call me back. I’ll just eat my feelings.
Screw you, Tim.
25-26 = rebound problems?
I didn’t even know that the girl existed till after a month of seeing Tim. She graduated high school the same year I graduated college. #PGP
A beer and a handle of… shit, Asian’s have good taste in whiskey… so crown? are on me.
While probably an asshole, Tim is a lucky bastard for dipping into that demographic.
24. I’m hungry.
I’ve used every one of these and am not ashamed.