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I was listening to Ice Cube’s classic “It Was A Good Day,” and decided it needed a real world spin. We can’t all be gangsters. Don’t be afraid to sing along.
[Verse 1]
Just waking up in the morning, goddamn it
Late for work so my alarm clock causes panic
No money to pay bills, taking Xanax pills
Playing Candy Crush all day for cheap thrills
I hit Chipotle, but didn’t pig out
Half a burrito so my trainer wouldn’t wig out
Saved the rest for later as I hit the door
Hoping I don’t gain another 24
I gotta go cause I got me a team meeting
And if I’m late, my boss will give me a reaming
Accidentally ran a red light
Looking in my mirror and not a copper in sight
And everything is alright
I got an email from Jim, saying we should drink all night
Called up my buddies and I’m asking them
“Which Chili’s are we doing happy hour in?”
Get me to the bar and I’m trouble
Last week fucked around and ordered whiskey doubles
Taking shots all day like I’m MJ
I really wish today had been payday
[Verse 2]
Drove to my place and checked the mail
Pre-approved credit cards and a Target sale
Just yesterday picked up some patio chairs
Probably won’t ever use them, fuck it I don’t care
No flexing, posted an Instagram pic of my complexion
As I ran an intersection
Went to Jimbo’s house, he was watching Anthony Bourdain
That guy’s life is insane
Change the channel, change the channel, change the channel, change it
American Horror Story, now that is some strange shit
Then hit 7, 7-11, 7-11
6 pack of Coors Light for the night
I picked up the cold brews
Then went back home, and hit my Netflix queue
Plus nobody I know got engaged on Facebook today
Today was a good day
[Verse 3]
Tomorrow I get paid
Might grab a flat screen that I’ve wanted since the 12th grade
Go on a bender, maybe even hop on Tinder
And pretend to be a big spender
Got a match from a girl named Annie
Looks like a tranny, but I’d still touch her fanny
Because I’m on a dry spell, oh well
I’ll go to hell feeling oh so swell
Took her out to Applebee’s
She didn’t hesitate to order appetizers by the three
Drove back to the pad and I’m buzzin’
Buy more beer by the dozen, put a pizza in the oven
I was glad to have broken my dry streak
Now I’ll just watch porn for the rest of the week
Today was the best in a while
Crack another beer, watch Eminem in 8 Mile
My boss wasn’t riding on my ass
Got a little over a quarter-tank worth of gas
Even saw some stock that I bought go up
That calls for some scotch in my cup
Drunk as hell but no work tomorrow
Hit the pool let the sun bake away my sorrow
Today I didn’t even dip into my 401k
I got to say it was a good day
Respond
Ross Bolen
Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles: Game of Thrones podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover sports podcast, 2017 Masters attendee, bigger and more loyal Rockets, Astros and Texans fan than you, cheese enchilada aficionado, and nap god.
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