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1. Only fat people can be goalies.
2. Dogs are incredible athletic specimens.
3. You can hit a home run, no matter how bad you suck at baseball.
4. Japanese baseball players will question your manhood.
5. Iceland is really good at hockey, despite never fielding an Olympic hockey team.
6. Kickers are emotionally unstable people.
7. Don’t bench your best player just because he’s dating your mom.
8. Don’t call him Rocket anymore.
9. Your abusive peewee hockey coach will cause you more torment than losing your father at a young age.
10. Heisman candidates have terrible drinking habits.
11. Listen to the wise janitor.
12. An inner city, pick up roller hockey game is the ultimate team building exercise.
13. Make the nerdiest kid in your neighborhood the offensive coordinator.
14. Playing high school football at West Canaan is not the opportunity of a lifetime.
15. Just call him AL.
16. Water is for cowards. Water makes you weak. Water makes you tired.
17. Major League Baseball players are incapable of not taking double dares.
18. If you’re going to throw a perfect game, do it in the last game of your career.
19. Good things start happening when you get to the montage.
20. There’s no crying in baseball.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
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The flying V was an acceptable formation in any sport circa 1992.
“Remember The Titans” opened in 2000, so not a 90’s movie.
The entire team will give up their roster spot so that the scrappy midget can dress for a game.
but it was a movie watched by 90’s kids
Shit. You’re right. Oh well.
Broad Street Bullies
God bless this column.
Rookie of the Year > Little Big League
But without Little Big League, nobody would have heard the Cowboy riddle.
Absolutely. As a kid, every time Little Big League came on tv, I’d get excited… then realize it wasn’t Rookie of the Year. The kids even looked similar(ish)!
Is it strange to say I’ve never even heard of Little Big League and Rookie of the Year is one of my favorite movies? Why watch a blatant ripoff?
It’s not a blatant rip off… Totally different story lines, just both involving children in MLB organizations.
But yeah, RotY > LBL
It is a rip off. With less funny child actors. And no Gary Busey. You should be ashamed that you haven’t heard of it. But, don’t waste your time.
I can paint a house in 3 hours, you can do it in 5, how longs it take us together?
I should know this. My uncle is a painter.
It’s all in the hips
#10 still holds true with our reigning Heisman winner