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They say that the mouths of dogs are cleaner than the mouths of humans. I don’t care whether that’s true or not, because it’s definitely not true despite what science will tell you. Yeah, my breath my smell like garlic from the pasta I just ate, but my dog’s breath smells like a combination of butt and dog food which is infinitely worse.
That being said, I let my dog lick my face more than I’d like to admit. I once posted an Instagram story of my dog licking my ear and people were absolutely revolted. And you know, I get it — like I said, her mouth smells like butt which is something that I should probably keep off of my face.
But it wasn’t until Thanksgiving that I realized I was doing something that people found to be even more revolting. Grosser than butt-tongue being inside my ear, worse than letting her lick my face after she sniffed poop at the dog park. I let my dog sleep in my bed with me.
I know, I know, seems completely normal to me as well. I’ve never thought anything of it because, well, I like having my companion with me at all times. When she sleeps under the bed, I feel guilt. When she sleeps on the dog bed, I think to myself, “Man, how bad does she want to be up here right now?” It’s an endless cycle when she’s not nuzzled next to me on the comforter.
The shame, though. Oh, the shame. And never did I even see it coming. It’s worse than the ridicule people receive for not washing their hands in the bathroom or wiping the wrong way. It’s pure, unfiltered disgust.
But then I saw something. An article by The Cut, the publication that Gwyneth Paltrow knows nothing about. “Women, Sleep With Your Dogs,” it was titled. Here, read the important parts for yourself.
[A] study, published this month by researchers at Canisius College in Buffalo, New York, surveyed 962 women living in the U.S. It found 55 percent slept with a dog, 31 percent slept with a cat, and 57 percent slept with a human. The women with dogs, according to the study, were more likely to have a restful night. Incredible.
“Compared with human bed partners, dogs who slept in the owner’s bed were perceived to disturb sleep less and were associated with stronger feelings of comfort and security,” the study says. It is true that whenever my dog hears a noise he looks toward its origin, which makes me feel very secure and protected from the radiator. The study continues, “Conversely, cats who slept in their owner’s bed were reported to be equally as disruptive as human partners, and were associated with weaker feelings of comfort and security than both human and dog bed partners.”
I know the subject field is tiny — less than a thousand people — but it’s telling, isn’t it? I can ride into the sunset with the 55 percent of them that sleep with their dogs. We’re brothers (and sisters) in arms despite the public sentiment against us.
Of course, there are downsides. My particular dog likes to nuzzle into my lower-half and limit my legroom. Sometimes she takes up parts the comforter that I have to yank away from her. And other times she just flips on her back and hits me in the face with her paw.
The upsides, however, just outweigh everything else. The companionship. The comfort. The security. Frankly, it’s part of the reason I wanted a dog in the first place — so I could dole out belly scratches while watching The Great British Baking Show and fall asleep to the white noise that is puppy snores. That’s not a crime.
But to you, I ask the simple question — is it disgusting? Are people who allow their dogs to sleep in their beds filth, or simply inclusive? Guide me, for I feel a combination of comfort and shame that I don’t know how to reconcile. .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
Are you attempting to crowd-source an argument between you and your human bed buddy regarding the dog’s presence?
Can’t imagine not letting my dog sleep in my bed. I just have a “no dog on the sheets” rule. He’s allowed on the comforter or throw blanket.
No.
The dog thinks it’s disgusting that humans sleep in her bed.
No – Rosie is a national treasure.
No. I think it’s disgusting that people would buy or adopt a dog and then treat them like a lesser being or a slave by putting them in a separate room or kennel at night. It’s shocking to see a dog laying on a $80 bed in the family room when he or she could be sleeping on a tempurpedic with you. It’s called responsibility people…try it sometime!
Where does Sally sleep?
Probably on one of those benches that Jan makes Michael sleep on
But Sally owns Will. If anything he’d be the one sleeping on the bench.
I’m by no means taking Will’s side but I’d really be interested to see how everyone that claims “Sally owns Will” handles their relationship(s) with women. If you know anything about anything it’s that women always make the decisions and men are just happy they’re getting some attention and maybe some sex
More seriously, does Rosie sleep ON the bed or IN the bed – under the covers with you?
No and I’m all in on it.
While I may be uncomfortable and dying of heat while my dog sleeps between my legs, under my chin or on my stomach, she’s comfortable. And really, that’s all that matters.
We recently made the switch for the sole reason of his shedding. Just nice to lay in a bed not occupied with a ton of his fur. Could we try and remedy this with more brushing? Well yeah but it doesn’t help labs all that much.
I’ve slept with the family lab every day since we got him in high school, he still sleeps with me on the futon that’s now in my old room/dads converted home office. just put a blanket down on the bed under your pup’s spot, hair problem solved.
This would work if he had a spot. We both just move a ton.