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Technology makes everything in our lives easier. As Common says when he waxes poetic in that redundant Microsoft ad: “We have more power at our fingerprints than we ever had before.” So, what will you do with it? Well, last Friday, I used my phone to order way too much food on GrubHub because I was lazy and trying to fight off a cold I’ve had for months. Here is my thought process as I waited for my chicken kabobs and hummus plate for almost two hours.
6:15 p.m. – Hell yeah, I’m hungry, but not hungry enough to move from the couch and walk outside into Fall temps and blustery wind to get it. Guess, I’ll opt for delivery.
6:16 – 6:30 – *scrolls through GrubHub trying to find the perfect food and price combo, only to end up with the same damn order that I had last time*
6:35 – Alright, order placed. Wait, how did this one person meal come to $26 bucks? I am truly a slob.
6:37 – Cool, it looks like they got my order. Estimated delivery time is 7:30. Ok, not too bad. Time to fire up Call of Duty.
6:45 – Looks like COD somehow needs another massive update. The game just came out and there’s no campaign mode. What could they possibly be updating this early? Guess I’ll wait it out.
6:55 – Alright, guess I’m not playing COD tonight, *fires up Netflix*
7:00 – Time to check the status. Ok, so the estimated delivery time hasn’t moved but it doesn’t look like there’s been any progress on my order. I’m going to assume that’s a good thing.
7:10 – OK, there’s no movement on either front. Guess I’ll check the map.
7:12 – Shit, the map says the order is going to be delivered 30 minutes later than expected. Bad, but not earth-shattering. I’ll just crack another beer in the meantime.
7:15 – 7:30 – *Tries to distract myself from the growing hunger pains and dreams in chicken kabobs*
7:35 – *Begins to rationalize being that customer and actually calling the restaurant*
7:36 – *Calls the restaurant* Welp, looks like the order is ready but there’s no delivery driver. Great. I mean, I could go there and pick it up myself…nah
7:45 – COD is halfway updated. Celtics vs Raptors is on in the background to distract me. I wonder how much GrubHub would charge for a stadium hotdog.
7:55 – Like manna from the heavens, that tiny red GH notification beacon has hit my phone saying my food is en route. I’m eating good tonight.
7:56 – 8:15 – *Tries not to eat everything in the fridge.* *Tries to convince self to save part of the meal to eat as leftovers during the Wisconsin game.*
8:20 – *Knock on the door.* Thank god, dinner is here. Hopefully the delivery guy doesn’t judge me too much for the size of this order.
8:25 – *Ferociously rips through three randomly assorted brown bags and cutlery before eventually finding the hummus plate.* Alright, no leftovers tonight. .
Respond
@TaylorLaabs
@taylor1laabs
Living somewhere where meal delivery isn’t an option but homeownership is. PGP.
How far is too far for takeout? I do it if its within 10 minutes walking.
If you email or call grubhub about your experience, they’re pretty good with giving you a credit. I once waited 2+ hours for food only to be told I was .1 miles out of their delivery range and if I wanted it I had to pick it up. Grubhub gave me like 3 order credits
The only time delivery is worth the time and expense is when you are too drunk to get there yourself. If I’m hungry enough to pay double for food, I’m way too impatient to wait the extra 45 minutes.
Yuppie scum, go get your food.