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My birthday is on the 8th of this month. So it’s soon. And honestly? Your girl’s not thrilled about it. I don’t know exactly when I started feeling “meh” about my birthday, but I definitely remember crying on my birthday-eve before I turned nine (yes, only nine) because I “wanted to stay at eight-years-old.” My mother can serve as a witness to this, because she thought it was adorable. My point is: it’s always been a thing (both me being adorable and my distaste for my own birthday).
At first, I thought I had some deep psychological reason as to disliking my birthday because I’m afraid of aging like my 9th birthday suggested… But that’s definitely not the case. I love the idea of growing old and having a fun-filled life to continue following, so I’ve tried to do some soul searching as to why I don’t love celebrating my universal debut. I’ve had some GREAT birthdays, but it’s always been a thing with me since I was a kid. Fast forward over a decade (almost two) from that almost-nine-year-old breakdown, and I’ve started to slowly figure out the reasons.
The main verdict? I hate throwing myself a party.
Don’t get me wrong… I love parties, in general. LOVE them. And I love throwing them! If it’s someone else’s birthday, watch out – I’m sure I have plans to celebrate and love on them in some form or fashion. After all, I pride myself in the love languages of gift giving and acts of service. But my own party? Ugh, I don’t love throwing myself a celebration in any form or fashion. It just feels so weird, especially as an adult. The expectation to have a good birthday is similar to the expectation of having a great “New Years Eve” (another article for another day): it’s WAY too high. When somebody wakes up on any normal day, they usually don’t know how the day will unfold. But their birthday? There’s this odd pressure that you’re supposed to have an extra exceptional day, and that you should be smiling at every present, card, and Facebook notification. I can’t help but feel weird while friends surround me saying “Are you having a great birthday?!” on repeat. I mean, yes? I think so?
That whole “birthday girl” charade was never my cup of tea. You won’t ever see me with those big metallic balloons (which, by the way, can we please retire those?), or a tiara parading around declaring that it’s “my day.” That’s just not my thing. Now, all of this information might come as a surprise to you since I’m a quirky, extroverted, theatre-kid who has speech and debate championships under her belt. This has nothing to do with a distaste for attention. I’m down for attention, but I only like it when I feel like it’s earned. There’s something that feels so weird about putting on a celebration for myself just to cheers to another year of, well, surviving this world we live in. (edit: Re-reading this, I realize it’s actually great that I’ve gotten through the dumpster fire year that 2018 has been, but you get my generic point).
But, in the exact same breath I don’t want to sit home and ignore what the day means- After all, I appreciate SO much the love, cards, flowers, and words that my friends and family share with me… I just want to find a more productive outlet for it than going to brunch and getting drunk with my girls. Let’s reserve those for normal weekends.
This year I might have a beer or two with my two closest gal pals in L.A., but plan to better spend my annual celebration an organization that really could use the love. If you, like me, sometimes catch the birthday blues – try volunteering or even celebrating your mother (or a maternal figure in your life). After all, birthdays are equally as life-changing and dynamic to mothers as they are to you.
The bright side of every birthday? Cakes, cupcakes, cookies, pies… You can always use it as an excuse to indulge in some form of baked good. .
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KatieCallaway
Katie is 27 and is from Nashville, TN but lives in Los Angeles, CA as an actress, comedian, writer, and marketing manager. Although some might disagree, she likely peaked when she had dinner with Randy Jackson and he called her “dude” a lot. You can see her active on the Twitterverse at @KECallaway or you can also follow her new Insta at @KatieCallaway even though she hates Instagram.
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Stock photo girl – would
The “stock photo would” comments remind me of the time in high school my buddy took a picture of his ass in women’s underwear and sent it around. The talk of the school the whole day was trying to figure out who this mystery hot chick was. Man, did they feel weird when it was revealed this “great ass” belonged to a 6’4 dude with a full beard.
Risk it all fam?
Worst thing about girls’ birthdays:
1) Those big metallic balloons shaped as numbers like you described
2) Their friends obnoxiously posting five Instagram stories (in which the one posting clearly looks their best) to “wish their friend a happy birthday”
Usually these are the same girls.
My favorites are the ones who have to have an entire birthday month. No you fucking don’t.
You should write an article about that actually. Sounds like an entertaining read.
No it doesn’t. We don’t need that ‘tent. A for effort intern.
I love my birthday when someone I really care about plans a thing or two. I hate planning things for myself and feeling like I’m putting the pressure on other people to make my day perfect. Especially if its like.. a Wednesday.
Agreed…it’s nice when someone else plans something, even if it’s a little night out to dinner or drinks. It makes you feel like someone cares.
For sure enjoy your birthDAY, but I’m more than a little put out by girls who try to celebrate their birthday week or month. Multiple dinners, a party… all too much. Sheesh, girl, contrary to what you believe, the world doesn’t actually revolve around you (or anyone else)
My old boss used to do the birthday month thing even though she was like 45. Everyday she would have a different theme or celebration leading up to her actual birthday. It was the most obnoxious and annoying thing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve seen a few other girls do this on Facebook and it’s super cringe worthy.
I hate celebrating my birthday as well which is why I usually go on a solo trip somewhere around my actual birthday. I don’t want to feel pressure to make it a big deal and celebrate amongst friends and family.
your old boss was insane.
tbh tho I’d see how far I could push nonsense like this as a boss, like… what can you get away with cause who’s gonna actually call you out if you can fire them??
this is also why I have no authority at my work. cause im an asshole
I’d rather celebrate buying a house or a big work milestone rather than a birthday where the only criteria is just existing another year.
P.S. Would
I feel like after 21 I stopped giving a shit about my birthday, now i might go out for dinner or something low key, but just another day othery
For the last two birthdays I have been in new offices and nobody knew about the day. It was an ideal situation.
I’m glad I’m not the only person would didn’t want to turn 9. I told people I was 8 for two years because I didn’t want to get any older.
I know I’m getting old cause I read the title and thought, “Man, I’m glad I’m not that late into my twenties just yet….. oh wait yes I am.” I just turned 27 in June.
Don’t really care for my birthday either. It’s around Thanksgiving so I see family/friends during that time anyway. Last year, my girlfriend treated me with tickets to her company’s suite at Oracle for a Warriors game. Going to try and make that happen again this year.