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I need a shower in the morning to properly start my day. I’ll never understand how people can skip washing themselves off and just go straight to work unshowered. That is an art that I’ve never mastered.
The morning shower before work is as essential as coffee. It’s a burst of energy, a place to collect your thoughts before you’re force-fed a fresh, heaping pile of shit inside the extremely unfriendly confines of your cubicle.
If I don’t have that shower, my entire day is thrown out of order. I like to take two, sometimes three a day and I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I like to feel clean, don’t sue me over it.
Now I don’t want to get all Seinfeldian on you here, but what’s going on in my apartment right now is straight out of Kramer’s apartment. My water pressure is shit. It’s shittier than shit. It is the bane of my existence, and with a thick, luscious mane that goes down to my shoulders (at least until Friday night when I get it cut), I need a strong stream to get conditioner and shampoo completely removed from my scalp. Look at this – it’s disgraceful.
Water pressure, if you’re unaware, is the straw that stirs the entire drink. Without water pressure, you might as well skip the shower entirely. I’ve had a lot of bad landlords during my time as a renter. But the one I currently have is especially awful because she’s so nice in person. Whenever I see her, we always have an extremely friendly conversation. We talk about life, the incessant barking that emanates from the unit next to mine, and The Americans on FX. She seems to be a great person, the only issue is she never follows up with the things she says she’s going to do.
The carpet in my hallway leading up to my place smell like a wet dog. I asked her to take care of it in person and, of course, she said she would send a cleaning crew out.
Three weeks later and it still hasn’t been done. My toilet was overflowing the first night I moved in and I had to call and pay for my own plumber to come out and fix it myself. She reimbursed me for the bill, but still – the point of having a landlord is for situations like the above. You do these things yourself when you’re a homeowner, not a tenant in an apartment.
If I was making a little more money, I would have gotten out of the renting game with the quickness, but as it stands right now I simply cannot afford to buy a place of my own.
So here I am, stuck in an apartment with faulty plumbing and a subpar shower headstream. And since I have zero faith in my landlord to remedy this issue, I’m thinking about taking matters into my hands.
I don’t need a Commando 450 like Kramer got on the black market in that episode of Seinfeld, but I think I do need to go with a double shower head. I could even make this a fun little Saturday chore.
Go to Home Depot around 8:00 a.m., wear a phone clip like the rest of the dads there, and maybe just talk a little shop with the guys at the front of the store for a half hour while drinking free coffee. I can get my dual shower head, figure out via YouTube how to install the sucker, and be taking showers with a tight, strong stream by 1 or 2 p.m. on Saturday afternoon.
The other option, of course, is much easier and it’s what most people my age would do in this situation – continue complaining about it until eventually I just get used to the weaker shower stream, and then three months later when it finally gets fixed I’ll pretend like nothing was wrong at all when I see the landlord. .
Image via Unsplash
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jduda@grandex.co
I only clicked on this article because of the stock photo girl.
Not gonna lie, she may have lured me here too.
“Big trash” wtf?
two tips for increasing your showerhead pressure:
1. Remove the head and look for a restricter washer somewhere beyond the threading. These are put in place to limit the showerhead to the government-regulated gpm rate but can usually be removed with a pair of pliers, or at worst a drill.
2. Soak the head in vinegar overnight. This will dissolve any mineral deposits that might be built up which are likely restricting flow.
Make sure you pick up some thread tape to properly reattach the showerhead once these steps are complete.
Something tells me I’m going to get a very sick satisfaction out of seeing a bunch of mineral deposits come out of the head
Sprinkle them in your coffee for a little extra calcium in your diet
This was exactly what was wrong with my shower heads at my new house. I called a plumber and felt like a fucking idiot when he took off the head and mineral deposits fell out…boom, perfect water pressure.
This is helpful.
Thread tape is huge (and cheap as hell) – do not overlook this step.
If that doesn’t fix it, I bought an new shower head on amazon for $16 that really boost pressure at the expense of spray size (diameter?). Works great.
If you’re curious:
Delta 2-Spray Shower Head Water Amplifying with H2Okinetic
I’d be careful about removing the restricted, I feel like the landlord won’t take it too well if the water bill goes up significantly
Fuck your landlord.
My landlord recently installed low flow shower heads in my building. PGP
Low flow? Well I don’t like the sound of that.
Could be a prostate issue. Consult your doctor about Flomax.
It hasn’t been too bad honestly, it’s 1.8 GPM instead of 2.5
Hmm, 1.8 GPM — not good enough. I’m comfortable at a 2.5, but prefer to be in the low 3’s when it comes to water pressure. To hell with GPM efficiency
As of this year, state regulation’s cut GPM down to 1.8. I don’t even think you’d get in the low 3s in the US
I’m sorry, you have bad water pressure and your solution is to install a shower head that requires good water pressure to work? While an aerated shower head can make it seem like the water is coming out faster, your problem is in the pipes.
An entire article just to show everyone that you use Kiehl’s shampoo. Nice.
I’m all in on the term “big trash”
Relatable AF. My kitchen sink violently spits out water like it’s having a seizure.
You live off Belden and Lincoln too? My buddy’s water pressure is garbage but his landlord is an asshole.