The 9 (Other) Most Overquoted Movies of All Time

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Guess who’s back baby dolls? The first article received a lot of backlash, mainly over which movies I did not include on my list. My comments and Twitter mentions were inundated with suggestions of movies that should have made the list but didn’t. Some of the suggested films were movies I considered, but just missed the cut. Others were movies that I didn’t feel had been overquoted to death or were incredibly annoying to have quoted. And finally, there were some movies that I just didn’t think of.

Well, here is my redemption tour. If you were high-fiving yourself for your movie escaping the first list, be warned. Here are some more movies that you really need to stop quoting.

1. Star Wars
Just in general, can we cool it on the Star Wars quotes? I didn’t include it on the last list because these movies have essentially become inseparably ingratiated into the cultural zeitgeist. That said, after the Last Jedi came out there was a very severe uptick in Yoda impressions that I noticed, so let’s try and put a stop to that.

Please stop with:
– May the force be with you (and can we all agree that anyone making this joke on 5/4 should be publicly shamed. It was clever the first year, it’s now hackneyed as hell)
– Don’t get cocky kid.
– Never tell me the odds!
– Luke, I am your father. (By the way, you’ve been quoting it wrong. The actual quote is “No, I am your father.” So don’t you feel dumb now?)
– Do or do not. There is no try.

But feel free to keep using:
– I find your lack of faith disturbing.
– Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder!

2. Step Brothers
Great movie, one of my all-time favorites. I couldn’t bear to put it on the first list, but it was by far the most mentioned omission from the first list, so it goes onto this amendment. You know what you guys gave me for Christmas? A crushed soul.

Please stop with:
– There’s so much room for activities.
– It’s the fucking Catalina wine mixer!
– Did we just become best friends?
– Boats n’ hoes (unless you’re in a college fraternity planning a party, that sounds fairly dope.)

But feel free to keep using:
– I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis!
– Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!
– Brennan I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus (after her version of the National Anthem, Jesus is probably not digging this.)

3. Dodgeball
Another movie I love dearly and take no pleasure in putting on this list. It’s peak Vince Vaughn in terms of his comedy chops (which are above average, though not great), and maybe Ben Stiller’s funniest role ever (I do personally subscribe to the theory that White Goodman is the changed identity of Tony Perkins from Heavyweights). And, as I said in my fictional commentators rankings Cotton and Pepper are amazing together. But yeah, we do need to chill with this movie a bit.

Please stop with:
– If you can dodge [a noun] you can dodge a ball.
– It’s a bold strategy Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for them.
– Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! NOBODY!
– Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!
– God damn you Bernice! Ugghh!

But feel free to keep using:
– Cotton: In 23 years of broadcasting I thought I’d seen it all, folks. But it looks like Peter La Fleur has actually blindfolded himself. Pepper: He will not be able to see very well, Cotton.
– Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey… Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.
– Oh, I don’t think I’m a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought that I was once.
– Spare me… I won that tournament… fuckin’ Chuck Norris!

4. Glengarry Glenross
Very similar to the principle used to put the Wolf of Wall Street on the first list, this movie makes the list largely because of one scene. You all know what it is, and yeah I get it that it’s trendy to talk about business the way corporate dudes did way back when they were seen as suave titans of industry instead of weasley thieves. But there comes a point where semi-ironically quoting this movie becomes an actual cliche, and we have passed that point.

Please stop with:
– Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee’s for closers only.
– As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired.
– Dave Moss: What’s your name? Blake: Fuck you! That’s my name!
– A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing.

But feel free to keep using:
– I’d wish you good luck but you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you got it.
– What the hell are you? You’re a fuckin’ secretary. Fuck you. That’s my message to ya: fuck you and you can kiss my ass and if you don’t like it baby I’m going across the street to Jerry Graff, period, fuck you.
– Williamson: Where’s Mr. Roma? Dave Moss: I’m not a leash, so I don’t know. Do I?
– That guy’s a fuckin’ asshole. Anybody who talks to that asshole is a fuckin’ asshole.

5. Super Troopers
I actually have no qualms about putting Super Troopers on this list. It’s a funny movie, but it’s not one of my all-time favorite, must rewatch movies. I didn’t think this movie’s quotes are oversaturated into the common tongue to be a serious offender, worthy of making the first list, but enough comments have persuaded me to include it here.

Please stop with:
– Captain O’Hagan: I swear to God I’ll pistol whip the next guy who says “Shenanigans.” Mac: Hey Farva what’s the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks? Farva: You mean Shenanigans?
– The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
– Bear… bearfucker, do you need assistance?
– You boys like Mex-i-co? Yee- Haww!.

But feel free to keep using:
– Hey, let’s pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners.
– Your mother should’ve swallowed you, Rando!
– I’m not even gonna dignify myself with a response to that.

6. Wedding Crashers
This movie is kind of an enigma to me, because I believe you could make the case that it is both under and overquoted. While it sounds contradictory, realize that there are a ton of amazingly useful and hilarious quotes that go unused in this movie. That said, this movie has definitely been quoted a ton, and especially at weddings it will inveitably be referenced. That level of saturation makes our list.

Please stop with:
– I’d like to be pimps from Oakland or cowboys from Arizona but it’s not Halloween. Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula.
– Yeah! Crabcakes and Football. That’s what Maryland does!
– You motorboatin son of a bitch!
– Mom! The meat loaf! Fuck!
– Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!

But feel free to keep using:
– Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.
– You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!
– I think he’s on steroids. It’s like trying to cover a fucking race horse.
– I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a bitch!

7. Billy Madison
I’ve never seen Billy Madison. I have no idea how I never saw it, it wasn’t like I was forbidden to see it or wasn’t aware of it. I saw and loved Adam Sandler’s other 90s and 2000s hits, but somehow, this movie slipped through the cracks for me. Maybe that’s why it didn’t make the list the first time, because I never really felt the weight of it whenever anyone quotes it to me. That said, I’ve seen it quoted numerous times, so it is a worthy addition now.

Please stop with:
– What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
– T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!
– If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
– Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.
– Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.

But feel free to keep using:
– Chlorophyll? More like BOREophyll.
– You BLEW IT!

8. The Godfather
Classic movie about the actual OGs. This movie and its sequel are top 5 movies for anyone who considers themselves a film buff. It’s a shame to have to include it because it’s filled with mantras about how to become a titan amongst insects. I mean seriously, in terms of teaching you how to succeed in business and life, the only material you need the Art of War, 48 Laws of Power, and the Godfather. But oversaturation, parody, and everyone and their mother attempting to do a bad Brando impression lands it here.

Please stop with:
– I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.
– Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
– Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
– Look how they massacred my boy!
– But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me “Godfather.” You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to do murder – for money.
– Revenge is a dish that tastes best when served cold.
– It’s not personal, it’s strictly business.

But feel free to keep using:
– Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
– Fredo, you’re my older brother, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever.
– Great men are not born great, they grow great.
– Never hate your enemies, it impairs your judgment.
– A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.
– Time erodes gratitude more quickly than it does beauty.

9. Titanic
Ugh, this piece of shit movie. I don’t really mean that, it’s a good movie. But, like its most quoted lines, this movie has just been so overplayed. I mean, everything with Jack and Rose was just too unbelievable, even to me at 10 years old. Two people don’t just meet on a ship and fall in love after a few days, at least that’s what the girl I met on a cruise during spring break in college told me when she threw me out rounding second. Man, one of the biggest misses of my life.

Please stop with:
– I’m king of the world! (if you do this on an actual boat people should be allowed to shove you overboard).
– I’ll never let go Jack. (before literally letting go of him, and then eventually getting married and having a bunch of kids with someone else).
– You jump, I jump.
– You shine up like a new penny.

But feel free to keep using:
– What? Do you think a first class girl can’t drink?
– That’s one of the good things about Paris: lots of girls willing to take their clothes off. .

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Josh T.

Don't call me a liar, but you don't have to call me a truther.

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