======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
The average human being needs a hobby. Most people have normal hobbies like sports or cooking, but some people have weird hobbies like coin collecting and underwater basket weaving. I’ve got a pretty normal hobby: I’m a huge garden guy.
I grew up on 36 acres on the side of an Appalachian mountain. I popped out of the womb knowing the ins and outs of germination. I’m not like the common garden man who has probably spent years studying books or probably the internet researching how to raise the perfect garden. I learned the basics from my illiterate grandfather and have been riding the wave ever since. By the time I turned 14, I was the county fair king of all things garden. I had the best squash, cantaloupe, cucumbers, and sunflowers around. People called me the Garden Governor. It was pretty tight. The garden at home was over an acre large. It was fenced 8 feet into the ground and 12 feet into the sky; we called it The Fortress. I’m currently stuck in a neighborhood so my gardening ability has been limited; However, I do have quite the setup.
Gardening isn’t just a hobby for me, it’s a lifestyle. I would take a bullet for my plants straight up. There’s a certain bond a man establishes with the plants he curates, and it’s indescribable. I go beyond the typical water/sunshine/fertilizer strategies; I add the extra touches. I’m talking about throwing chopped leaves in the soil and spraying the plants with garlic. I’ll even use beer and coffee grounds sometimes. I have no idea what works, I just do it.
Gardening is great because you save hella money. You don’t have to buy the majority of your vegetables and herbs for over four months! Most people would take that money and put it towards student loans or credit card debt, but I just like to buy more steak with it. In a couple years, Gardener Delph will be Farmer Delph and I’ll even be raising my own steaks. Until then, I’m going to keep spending all my spare change on ribeyes.
My garden also forces me to get creative in the kitchen. I love to throw down chef boyarDelph style, just ask my snapchat followers. Growing different things in my backyard has made me learn to cook new vegetables while also finding newer unique ways to cook familiar vegetables. I’m out here doing cucumber facials and aromatherapy, not to mention that zucchini bread is spectacular. Never forget homemade salsa.
Gardening is great for your brain health, heart health, and especially your mental health. It gives you both a sense of responsibility and a sense of accomplishment. Every morning when I pick new vegetables off the vine I feel proud of myself. Some people go running at 6 in the morning for a runner’s high, but I just harvest a fat tomato and make a bomb ass breakfast. It’s an easy life being the Garden Governor..
Respond
@delph_13
@gdelph13
gdelph
I imagine half the fun of having a garden is laying waste to the varmints that threaten the livelihood of your ‘matoes.
The “Tango down” count is up to 8 for the season.
My childhood PR was 73 groundhogs in a summer. My dogs’ PR was over 120 acknowledged kills, but they were an unfair team.
Built a 4×8’ garden a couple months ago. So far I’ve spent about $200 on wood and dirt to save $5/wk on tomatoes, cucumbers, basil and green peppers.
You’ve gotta learn to “find” the wood and dirt.
I’m right in the middle of the Chicago burbs, and hard to acquire 48 cubic feet of dirt with my sedan.
Try pots next time.
Also, if you plant late, a lot of nurseries have their veggie plants half off or will just give them to you for free. Your plants will catch up as long as you take care of them. I got 10 tomato plants for free (yeah, I have too many tomato plants, suggestions on what to do with them are welcome), bell peppers, Tabasco peppers, squash, and zucchini were all half off. I paid like $4. I splurged on terracotta pots that I could paint and a few biodegradable ones. That cost me around $60. BUT, your bed is going to be able to be used over and over again. Think of if as a long-term investment!!
Is this a pitch for a new Grandex podcast? Kidding not kidding
Farmer Delph podcast one of these days
I would 100% support a Farmer Delph podcast.
I have a cactus on my city balcony that I’m pretty sure is dying. I think my point here is I’m somehow less nurturing than a desert so gardening seems like it’s out of my depth.
Fun fact: A zebra cactus can survive 3 weeks without water but can’t survive my care.
can confirm, gardening is a great hobby.
Farmer Delph, I have a couple questions you could maybe answer for me:
1. I did veggies in pots this year because my man’s hobby is growing grass the quality of a putting green at Augusta, so no room for a raised bed. Something seems to be gnawing on one of my bell pepper plants, but just the one. I moved him, but his leaves are a little holy. What can I do to help him/repair his leaves/prevent bad bugs? I tried rubbing some diluted Dawn on the leaves, and it hasn’t really helped. I’m in the NE Mississippi area for reference.
2. What are your suggestions for DIY tomato stakes? Everywhere is sold out.
3. Are ants a cause for concern for my zucchini plants? They’re crawling in the pot, but the plant is huge and happy.
If the soap isn’t working, try crushing some garlic cloves or some really hot peppers (habanero) and mixing with water and spraying that on the leaves. If that doesn’t work just keep your little guy as hydrated as possible, giving the plant the natural strength to fight off its enemies! Good luck, I’m having a rough time with my cucumbers this year.
You can try wrapping chicken wire around metal stakes for a homemade tomato stake, there’s all kinds of options honestly.
Ants love the blooms on a zucchini plants, but they don’t mean any harm. I have ants all over mine and I’ve been harvesting fresh zucchini every day.
Can I rub the water mixture on with a paper towel, or should I quit being cheap and buy a spray bottle?
Probably gonna have to spray
Buy a pack of Parliament menthols* cut them open and put the tobacco in a coffee filter. Brew that up and then spray it on the areas where the bugs are bad.
*Commercial organic production uses just tobacco leaves, but I don’t know where you could easily find a small source so that’s why I suggested a pack of smokes.
The second best part of my mom’s huge garden growing up (first was obviously the fresh produce which is a billion times more delicious than any supermarket produce ) was canning the extras. Having jars and jars of homemade salsa, marinara sauce, pickles, sauerkraut etc. keeps the goods coming all year round.
honestly can someone please tell me how to make gardening less hellacious??? I despise and dread it every weekend.
I have convinced myself that the plants are my children and I even talk to them sometimes. Once I got myself to genuinely care about them, gardening has turned into a love thing instead of a chore thing. That sounded a whole lot less weird in my head.
Use pots!
Farmer Delph, few questions for you? Birmingham, AL based, btw….
1 – got some eggplants in my ‘den. The white eggplant is doing fine however the black beauty has yet to bear any fruit. Both are same exact size. Thoughts on getting the black beauty producing?
2 – I have a zucchini plant that is absolutely taking over one of my raised beds. Like full on invasion. Planning for next year, how much space do I need to give this thing? I’ve trellised but it’s still out of control.
3 – I’ve got a metric f*ck ton of tomatoes going now. All indeterminate. All about 8 feet tall as we speak. All are producing fruit except for the Mr. Stripey. It’s literally 8 feet tall and doesn’t have a single bloom. Ever had any experience with Stripey? Also, in general with respect to tomatoes, are you in favor of removing suckers or nah?
Did you start the eggplants inside? They can be an absolute bitch to get going sometimes. I gave up on eggplant years ago. So my advice is…fuck eggplants.
I learned at a young age to put all my squash far away from everything knowing damn well it would completely take over. I’ve always done a raised bed with only 2-3 seeds per bed and it still grows into a massive bush. I like to space the plants out at least three feet apart when planting seeds, usually leaves room to get in between plants through the summer.
My experience with Mr. Stripey is a lot of sunlight and a lot of room. I’m curious by how big the plant is, did you use any fertilizer? Sometimes too much nitrogen creates a hellish plant with no fruit, happened to me too many times. If you’re rocking indeterminates, I’d remove the suckers.
I live in a city and very jealous of people who can have large gardens
I had an indoor garden in an apartment one time. It was thriving until it got to the point when I needed to know what I was doing. Apparently I didn’t, and the grow light fried almost everything. The only thing I got was a few leaves of lettuce that I’m not convinced weren’t just weeds. I ate them regardless.