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You’ve probably seen the video by now. A woman at a San Diego Padres game suddenly found a foul ball in her beer cup. First came surprise, followed by cheers from the crowd, and a quickly chugged beer by the lucky fan – dusty baseball be damned. Enjoying a ballpark brew is nothing special, but when you add in a freshly hit baseball and the adoring screams of 30,000 others, you get a true slice of Americana. This event seems to happen at least once a season and everyone time it’s equally as awesome. It’s like Apple Pie, the first BBQ of the season, and the previously-caffeinated Four Loko wrapped into once visceral experience. She deserves the accolades she’s receiving, but I’d be lying to you if I said that I wasn’t a bit jealous. In fact, I’m very jealous. And you should be too.
Beer — and baseball — served to your seat at @Padres games 🍺⚾️ pic.twitter.com/zCh3HjeUyD
— Petco Park (@PetcoPark) June 6, 2018
Let’s face it, I probably have a better chance of getting hit by a city Metra bus than finding a baseball perfectly placed in the small opening of my stadium cup. The fact that this seems to happen at least once every MLB season is fascinating and lets you know that people are drinking a lot of beer in the stadium and a lot of professional batters are hitting wayward balls into the stands. You need the right arc, trajectory, and speed for this Miller Lite miracle to happen – and a lot of plastic cups. Plus, the unsuspecting person needs to not spill the beer entirely, which seems pretty difficult given the suddenness of the situation. But having the ball land in your cup is only the first part of the deal.
Winning the ballpark beer lottery only gets you so far. Much like catching an opposing team’s home run and throwing it back in the stands, there are certain unwritten ballpark rules that you must adhere to. The lucky fan who gets this illustrious honor placed upon them has to do their part. You can’t grimace, pluck the ball out, or act like nothing happened. Your only reaction is to slam that thing like it’s the last light beer you’ll ever have. The salt, dirt, and resin simply make up a garnish for this baseball-infused beer-colada. Add in the peer pressure of 20,000+ judgmental fans and a jumbotron, and you’re suddenly the star of the show. If this happened to me at Wrigley, I’d hope Len Kasper provided some solid commentary and Anthony Rizzo nodded approvingly. It’s a fun distraction from the game, because sometimes baseball can get boring and machine-like. Chugging a beer cup filled with lager and laces is its antithesis and everyone, whether you’re watching at home or yelling from Row 13B, should embrace that.
If this situation ever happens to you, or – god-willing – me, I suggest you draw inspiration from Herb Brooks and the iconic speech he gave to Team USA before they took on the Russians at Lake Placid. “Great moments are born from great opportunity. That’s what you have here tonight.” Chug that damn beer like your life depended on it. I’ll live my dream vicariously through yours..
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@TaylorLaabs
@taylor1laabs
Anyone have a reasonable over/under figure of the amount of internet proposals this girl has gotten by now?
13 proposals, 43 dick pics, and one request to take pictures of her feet
Just the one?
It’s early.
I respect the move, but damn, head on a swivel people. Two more feet of flight and she’s taking a foul ball to the noggin.
i really cant relate to a single thing about this column besides missing those boosted 4 lokos…the OG sin juice
Commie