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Ever since Jordan, Smylie, Rickie, and Justin took over our feeds on that fateful spring break a few years ago, washed muny hackers like myself have been dreaming of the day we could throw on a pair of floral patterned trunks and throw up a cool 87 with a BAC above .08. Man, what a week that was. Non-stop content and more clicks than a West Sixth bar on a Friday night. WHAT’S UP, TANNER?! And the best part? There’s nothing depressing about living vicariously through four twenty-somethings playing golf from the confines of a cubicle. Nothing. Nope.
As someone who plays the game the right way, I think observing proper etiquette on the course is vital. But it’s also relative. If I’m in Sanibel tossing back Ranch Waters at a 25-dollar muny, I refuse to feel bad about rocking a seafoam green golf polo with my new trunks. I don’t think many of you would argue that. My old man might, but I’d never try to pull off a fit like that around him. On the other hand, if I’m playing one of the many fine & affordable public courses here in Central Texas, say Lions for example, the trunks are staying at home. This isn’t a vacation; my wife’s out of town. Unless the nearest body of salt water is less than a mile away, it’s a no swimsuit guarantee. Billionaire strutting into the pro shop with your hot pink Vineyard Vines trunks is a statement that’s best left for courses you don’t play twice a month. Fred already hates you and your foursome.
But what about athleisure? Running shorts? Is that ever the move? To maintain transparency, I have pulled this off on numerous occasions. My reasoning is simple: in my head, I’m much more likely to fire the glutes in something I work out in than anything that has belt loops on it. Also, and more importantly, I sweat. I’m not the sweatiest guy in my group, but I’m definitely in the conversation. When it’s mid-July and the low temperature is 81 degrees, that 9:48 tee time is less than ideal. Combined with my naturally miserable disposition due to the four Mich Ultras I polish off the night before, I’m in a bad way three holes in.
So I eased into it. Not one to cause a scene, I experimented with a number of the top-of-the-line “dry fit” golf short options. The results were mixed. Stylistically, many of the household name-brand shorts were trash. I’m not trying to hit the tailor for every pair of golf shorts I buy. And if I’m dropping heavy coin on a pair of shorts, I need results dammit. You ever been standing on a tee box worried that your buddies were Snapchatting your soaking wet back and ass? It’s no way to play golf.
Well, here we are a few years later. The Outdoor Voices shorts are in the rotation. The Polo Andrew shorts that are a total duck butter machine and an inch too high on the thigh are officially out. I even picked up my first pair of Lululemon shorts (I am douche) and have had two successful spring test runs.
Have I done anything wrong here? The reaction has been mixed. Understandably, those finding this to be an affront to the great game of golf have been the most vocal. Yuppie scum, trash move, and even traaaaaaaash move have been hurled my way on social media. Maybe that’s what happens when you post a pic with Micah (see above), but calm down guys.
Do you think I had a choice? Honestly? I didn’t. I had to. I had to do it to ’em. I’ll take a few bad looks over a Turkish bathhouse in my shorts any day. .
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Dave
Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.
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I would feel very uncomfortable at a golf course or in the clubhouse without a collared shirt
Hey Vick, the article was about shorts
You’re trying to tell me you don’t wear collared shirts on your legs at the golf course?
I am snorting
name checks out
if you’re playing a local muni with some friends knowing it is going to take 6 hours.. wear whatever you want. if you’re pegging it at a nice club, show off some logos
I dunno if I have ever heard pegging as a substitute for golfing.
I don’t think he was talking about golfing
You do what you have to do to get a tee time at some exclusive spots boys
100% trash. I’m not saying you have to wear pants and tuck in your shirt. Have some respect, not only for yourself, but for the game.
Also, if you’re worried about undercarriage sweat, just get some Nike or Under Armor golf shorts and apply some pre-round powder to your nards. You should suffer is you’re golfing in polo shorts.
100% agree.
Cool! I was on the fence until you weighed in!
Could not care less what someone else wears on the course since it doesn’t affect me. If it bothers you, please seek professional mental help.
** INCOMING TAKE **
Izod makes some of the best, most reasonably priced golf shorts in the game.
Izod outlet FTW.
Shorts above the knees, tucked in polo, belt. Should be required at every course.
It’s a great move. Remember, you’re paying out the ass to be there and play a game so technically, you can do whatever you want. Also, it’s America so you also can do whatever you want x2 lol
and a golf course can do whatever I wants, too. as in, not let you on the course
Then you tell them you’re gonna take your business elsewhere like to the mini-golf course because they’ll not only let you dress down, you can pretty much smoke meth and get into golf club fights without any trouble from the course owners
While everyone else is playing golf Nived is playing golf squared
Birddogs makes insanely comfortable shorts that look like standard golf shorts from afar. Once you get past the cheesedickishness of their marketing, it’s a solid option.
Slowly turning all of my short collection into bird dogs. I’ve got every male member of my family to adopt them as well. They’re great.
Hey, uh, Dave…. It’s muni, not muny
Like Municipal, you know?
Also, absolutely no shame in rocking lulu shorts with an old polo on any public course. If you keep with standard colors (black, gray, navy) then you’re fine wearing athleisure.
Pink/floral/pastel board shorts? Save it for TopGolf
I’m wearing a Save Muny hat right now so I’ll go with that.
My personal rule is the shorts should have belt loops, and the shirt should have a collar. I’ve never been one to be concerned with what somebody else covers their body with. Simply not my problem.