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Two down, a shit ton of weddings to go.
Now that the Ides of March have come and gone, we’re staring a few things down the barrel: The Masters, The Kentucky Derby, the realization that you put on fifteen pounds this winter and won’t fit in your bathing suit, and yes, wedding season.
Will it be tiring? Sure. All the Advil in the world won’t cure an open-bar headache. Will it be fun? Of course — nothing says “fun” like browning out in tuxedos and hitting the bars afterward feeling invincible. And will it be expensive? Well, yeah. $900 per wedding according to The New York Times.
They offered some tips to help ease the pain, but obviously, they sucked so it was my fiscal duty to weigh in.
Travel
As someone going to six weddings and one bachelor party this year, travel weighs heavily on my mind. Not really because of the cost, but because I hate return flights when I have a mind-numbing hangover. But, I mean, I guess the travel costs suck too.
“If you can RSVP way ahead of time, you can begin the process of planning to attend and making travel plans,” said Julian Leaver, the creative director at the Dapper Diplomat, an etiquette company in Dallas. “That’s where you’re going to save. Use the resources given to you by the couple, like the website, hotel room blocks and concierge.”
…
If a flight is involved, Ms. Rago suggests shopping early, but not necessarily booking right way. “Educate yourself as to how many airlines and flights” serve a particular destination, she said. “If you play the game, you can find a flight for so much less.” She also says to book with points, frequent flier miles or, if numerous weddings are on the calendar, consider an airline credit card where you often receive points for signing up. To save on ground transportation, organize similar landing times with other attendees so vehicles can be shared to the hotel.
Considering I’m almost positive that over fifty percent of my friends forgot to RSVP altogether for our first good friend’s wedding, they likely singlehandedly raised the average cost of wedding travel in one fell swoop because they planned too late.
No matter how hard you nickel and dime the airlines, I’m pretty sure that they just store your web browsing information and raise flight costs with every search you do. My suggestion is to buy your flights as early as humanly possible — and then if things go south, call the airline and make up some sort of excuse as to why you have to change. I once used the excuse that “I’ve decided to propose to my girlfriend that weekend” in an effort to push a flight back. And, well, we all know that didn’t happen.
Side note: if anyone needs a Chase Sapphire reference, hit your boy up and we can stack points together. Crew love.
Clothing
Noted contributor Max stated in a text that he buys a new pair of shoes for every wedding he attends. This is reckless behavior that will leave you with a closet full of dress shoes that will give you blisters every time you slide into them. I’d say doing this would be bad form, but then The New York Times gave even worse advice.
Attire can be a hang-up for guests. Men have it easier, Mr. Leaver said, since they can buy a suit or tuxedo and wear it to numerous events with different accessories. Purchase a few bow ties, pocket squares, socks and cuff links from affordable brands such as the Tie Bar and SuitSupply to keep the look fresh.
I don’t know if this was an affiliate link grab from The New York Times trying to get some kickback money, but as Dillon Cheverere has stated on numerous occasions, “Bow ties should only be worn by children and Bruce Bowen.” In a category almost as bad are pocket squares (only wear one without a tie — I don’t care what anyone says) and the zany sock guy (Read: Here’s To You, Flashy Sock Guy). Me? I go no-socks and everyone in Texas thinks I’m insane for it. But they also wear cowboy boots with tuxedos so you have to take everything with a grain of salt.
As for women? Well.
Instead, renting clothes can be a huge savings. Maureen Sullivan of Rent the Runway in New York said that nearly one million guests came to the clothing rental site last year looking for an outfit for a wedding.
“Guests can rent the perfect look, save money by not investing in something they will push to the back of their closet and not wear again,” she said. The company also offers accessories, like jewelry and clutches, as well as a wedding concierge to help guests find an appropriate outfit for any dress code.
Imagine, just for one second, suggesting to your girlfriend that she should rent a dress for a wedding. A dress that someone has already sweat in. Danced in. Left for dead on the hotel room floor after going back with Brett, the groomsmen. Yeah, nappenin’.
No matter how economical renting is, it’s just not going to happen. Even renting a tuxedo is idiotic. Just go to Men’s Warehouse and buy the cheapest one they have, get it tailored, and wear it ’til it falls apart. No one will know. Seriously, no one.
Gifts
We actually discussed this on Touching Base (iTunes / SoundCloud). Skip to 34:04.
Here’s what The New York Times has to say.
Gifts also add up, especially since the average guest spends about $100 for each item from the registry, according to Zola.com, a wedding planning and registry company in New York. Jennifer Spector, the director of brand at Zola.com, said couples typically add items with low, medium and high prices to their registry. Guests should set a budget, she said, and look for personalized items in that range.
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How about not giving a gift off the registry? Ms. Spector and Mr. Leaver agree something small and personal is another way to go, especially if you’re shelling out the dough to attend. “Guests need to realize that gifting is not about the money,” Ms. Spector said. “Writing a nice note and sending them a picture frame — that’s a really personal gift.”
When it comes to gifts, just accept that you’re kissing $100 goodbye every time you get a Save The Date in the mail. That’s the cost of postage. They have a dope kitchen accessory on their registry for $59? Boom, you just saved forty bucks. You wait until after the wedding and the registry has always been picked over? Well, now you’re in that awkward territory of either spending too much or getting something they won’t want.
Shop early, or get a trademark gift that you give to every couple you’ve ever come in contact with. Sure, you’ll feel poor, but not as poor as the bride and groom who just spent their life savings on one single party. .
[via The New York Times]
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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You know what the bride and groom really want as a present? Cash. They’re really, really hoping that you give them cash.
I seriously don’t understand why this hasn’t caught up with most weddings by now. I think it’s fare to assume that more often than not people live together before they get married so they don’t really need your typical wedding registry items.
100%. Everybody wants cash. I can’t pay for your meal & booze plus our honeymoon with a blender. Actually, a blender sounds tight. $75 – $150 or a blender, folks.
Fair*. Thanks, autocorrect.
Yup. Getting married in May, closing on a house in June. Please give us cash.
Still can’t believe “poopoo” lost in the PGP bracket yesterday
Total bull.
Bullpoopoo?
My fiancee and i always have a packed wedding and Gala schedule (i do a lot of work with non-profits). She uses Rent the Runway all the time and its always worked out great for her.
we get it you go to galas
I’m with your fiancee on that one. I’ve used Rent the Runway for greek life formals in college, law school proms, and Marine Corps balls, and it’s always worked incredibly well for me. I’ve never gotten a dress that’s stained or damaged or anything like that
Rent the Runway is an absolute godsend, especially for black-tie. Nobody wants to be tagged in the same thing all wedding season & I know I don’t have the budget or closet space to get something different every year.
I could never use Rent the Runway for fear of doing something permanently damaging to the dress, and then having to actually buy it. I can’t say that I’m a messy person/drinker, but the stress of knowing I need to return the dress would make me ultimately somehow mess it up.
I’ve definitely browned out in a $1k Rent the Runway dress and sat on the dirty city sidewalk and they took it back, no questions asked, not extra fees. I think they know what goes down at those open bar galas.
You purchase insurance with it for a reason – I think it’s an extra $5 or $10 (which is included in your total) and they take it back no questions asked. I’ve been using RTR since college and never looked back!
Huge fan of Rent the Runway. I use RTR for weddings and galas so I can wear dresses that (a) I could never afford otherwise and (b) are unique enough that you wouldn’t want to take pictures in them twice, so you wouldn’t want to buy them.
Came here to say this exact same thing. Will is dead wrong on this one.
My wife, who is the opposite of frugal, uses RTR like it’s her job, for dresses and for jewelry. Pretty sure Will is behind the times on this one.
My best friend used RTR for her wedding jewelry. Huge money saver.
I also came to say the same thing. RTR also saved my life when I realized a week before a friend’s wedding that it was black tie. Shopping is stressful and I’m not looking for and buying a new dress for every wedding that will never get worn again.
I see your shameless Chase Sapphire plug. Middle class fancy AF
1. Search for flights using the “incognito” mode for your browser. Prevent the flight price hikes. Google flights is great but Southwest isn’t on there for some reason.
2. I would definitely consider Rent the Runway. They definitely dry clean every single item that gets returned so I wouldn’t stress over what happened to it before me. Especially if I expect to reach the same exact level of debauchery.
Rent the Runway tip – if you don’t live in one of the cities with a store and happen to be visiting somewhere with a RTR Store (Chicago, NYC, etc). Go in and try on dresses. They’ll scan the ones you like and email it to you so you know what to order when the time comes!
Duda would hate their travel tip.
Book using points and airline miles does not qualify as advice. “Ignore the tens of thousands of dollars you spent acquiring those points…you’re now getting a flight for free!”
I’m a pocket square guy and I don’t care what anyone says. A fresh white pocket square sticking out a half inch is the cherry on top of any suit ensemble and nobody will convince me otherwise.