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Alright, folks. Last week’s Hometown Dates episode was a game changer; unless you’re the type of asshole who reads spoilers, no one expected to see Tia depart and Kendall to get a Golden Ticket to the smush room. Speaking of that – this week is the much acclaimed Fantasy Suites episode of the season, where Arie and his Final Three delicate dance around the fact that they are about to fornicate on a television show that their grandmother likely watches.
This episode is a gold mine of awkwardness and potential disasters, so what better way to enjoy it than by getting royally blasted and playing some more Bachelor Bingo?
This will work the same way as last week – click here for a link to a randomly generated bingo card. If you feel particularly vindictive this Monday and want to annihilate a bunch of trees, print out as many copies as you desire. If you’re more environmentally conscious (by choice or by default because you’re too broke to buy a printer) then you can play on your phone/tablet/laptop or basically any other device with a screen and Internet access. Each square will have an event that is likely to transpire during tonight’s episode, so as they happen I’ll live tweet it from from @CrickWatsonMD using #BachelorBingo – hit that follow button and get ready for the drunkest Monday of your life some good, clean fun!
Each time you cross off a square, take a drink (or two, or five, or a shot of Everclear for all I care) and release your inner Krystal and let everyone you’re playing with know how much better you are than their peasant asses. When you get five in a row (we play rows, columns, or diagonals, because we’re goddamn adults), take a picture of that perfect board and tweet it at me for the recognition and all the fake Internet points you deserve.
For shits and giggles, here’s a complete list of tonight’s squares:
– Arie cries
– Girl cries
– Arie says “I love you”
– Sex hair
– “Do not disturb sign”
– Girl needs reassurance
– Hot tub make out
– “Big step”
– Popping champagne
– Awkward face touching
– “I’m in love with Arie!”
– Muffled sex noises
– Reference to Arie’s junk
– Girl refuses the Fantasy Suite
– Couple feeds each other
– Rose petals on the bed
– “Next level”
– Arie says “I love that…”
– “I don’t want you to feel any pressure”
– “I want to marry Arie”
– “We didn’t get much sleep!”
– “Most amazing night ever”
– “I want to find a wife”
– An ex shows up
– Lauren gets a rose
– Becca gets a rose
– Kendall gets a rose
– No Rose Ceremony
And of course,
– “Right Reasons”.
Bachelor diehards: Get into our Bachelor recap podcast where we take an unconventional approach to each episode- mainly we just rag on Arie.
Image via YouTube / ABC
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@CrickWatsonMD
Twitter rumor is that there’s a strength and conditioning coach on tonight’s episode and I’m legitimately excited